Best jokes ever

A middle aged woman was driving through a school zone when a policeman pulled her over for speeding. As he was giving her the ticket, she said, “How come I always get a ticket and everyone else gets a warning? Is it my face?” “No, ma’am,” explained the officer, “it’s your foot.”
Vote:
has 71.53 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: cop
The government shutdown has officially lasted longer than any of Taylor Swift's relationships.
Vote:
has 71.53 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: life, political, relationship
Q: Why was Pavlov's hair so soft? A: Classical conditioning.
Vote:
has 71.53 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: geek, nerd, science
Q: What do dogs do after they finish obedience school? A: They get their masters.
Vote:
has 71.53 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, school
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They just beat the room for being black.
Vote:
has 71.53 % from 808 votes. More jokes about: black people, cop, light bulb, racist
What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? "firetruck"! What were you thinking? What starts with "P" and ends with "ORN"? "popcorn"! What were you thinking?!
Vote:
has 71.53 % from 819 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Yo mama so ugly people dress up as her for Halloween!
Vote:
has 71.53 % from 252 votes. More jokes about: Halloween, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Q: Why did the girl spread peanut butter on the road? A: To go with the traffic jam!
Vote:
has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: car, food, women
A nun gets into a cab and notices that the driver can't stop staring at her. So she asks him why is he staring and he answers, "I have a question I need to ask you but I don't want to offend you." The nun replies, "My dear son, you cannot offend me. When you're as old as I am and have been a nun as long as I have, you have had a chance to see and hear just about everything. I'm sure that there's nothing you could say or ask that I would find offensive." The cab driver hesitates for a moment and then says, "Well it's like this; I've always had a fantasy to have a nun perform oral sex on me." The nun replies, "Ok well, let's see what we can do about that, shall we. There are two conditions though - firstly you have to be single and secondly you must be Catholic." The cab driver is very excited and says, "Yes, yes! I am single and I'm Catholic too!" The nun then says, "Ok then, pull into the next alley." The cab driver does so and the nun duly goes ahead and fulfills his fantasy. They get back on the road and start driving again, but the cab driver soon starts to cry. The nun sees this and asks him, "My dear child, pray tell, why are you crying?" The cab driver says, "You must forgive me sister, but I have sinned. I lied to you - I must confess that I'm married and I'm also Jewish." The nun laughs and says, "That's OK, my name is Kevin and I'm on my way to a Halloween party."
Vote:
has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about:
Do you know what a plateau is? It's the highest form of flattery!
Vote:
has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: life
<<<321322323324
More jokes →
Page 321 of 1429.