Best jokes ever

A lady who was speeding had an officer pulled her to the side of the road.   She didn't have her seat belt on so as soon as she stopped, she quickly slipped it on before the officer got to her window. After talking to her about speeding, the officer said, "I see you are wearing your seat belt. Do you believe in wearing it at all times?" "Yes, I do, officer," she replied. "Well," asked the officer, "do you always do it up with it looped through your steering wheel?"
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More jokes about: car, cop, women
When a married man says "I'll think about it", what he really means is that he doesn't know his wife's opinion yet.
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More jokes about: life, marriage, wife
Getting your ass kicked by Chuck Norris? The only good news is you know when you will die.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
Q: Why do blondes have see-through lunch box tops? A: So they can tell if they are going to work or going home, while on the bus.
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More jokes about: blonde, communication, food, travel, work
Two hikers are out hiking. All of a sudden, a bear starts chasing them. They climb a tree, but the bear starts climbing up the tree after them. The first hiker gets his sneakers out of his knapsack and starts putting them on. The second hiker says, "What are you doing?" The first responds, "I figure when the bear gets close to us, we ll have to jump down and make a run for it." The second says, "Are you crazy? Don't you know you can't outrun a bear? The first guy says, "I don't have to outrun the bear... I only have to outrun you!"
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More jokes about: animal
Q: Why are only 2% of blondes touch-typists? A: The rest are hunting peckers.
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More jokes about: blonde, hunting
There's a rumor that Steve Jobs, has been a Buddhist, has been reincarnated as a factory worker on a sweatshop assembly line in China.
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More jokes about: celebrity, geography, life, technology, work
A blonde hops on and off a curb on a busy street, saying 54 over and over. A brunette walks by and asks what the blonde is doing. The blonde replies that she is jumping on and off the curb saying 54 over and over. The brunette joins her. Soon, the brunette gets hit by a passing car. The blonde watches as the car drives away. The blond then continues to jump on and off the curb, saying 55 over and over.
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More jokes about: black humor, blonde, car, communication, driving
Chuck Norris got swept over Niagara Falls... He liked it so much, he swam back up and did it again.
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Q: What is height of forgetfulness? A: Seeing the mirror and trying to recollect when you saw him / her last.
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More jokes about: life


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