Best jokes ever

Me: Siri, why am I alone? Siri: *opens front facing camera*
has 71.58 % from 116 votes. More jokes about: IT, phone
How do they name Chinese baby's? They throw silverware down the stairs until they hear something they like.
has 71.58 % from 669 votes. More jokes about: asian, racist
Dad shouts: "Stop watching porn, I can hear it in my room!" Son: "Dad.. I'm not watching porn, that is Maria Sharapova playing Tennis!"
has 71.55 % from 385 votes. More jokes about: sex, sport
My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
has 71.55 % from 256 votes. More jokes about: family, life, work
A nursing assistant, a floor nurse and a charge nurse from a small nursing home were taking a lunch break in the break room. In walks a lady dressed in silk scarves and wearing large polished-stone jewelry. "I am Gina the Great," stated the lady. "I am so pleased with the way you have taken care of my aunt that I will now grant the next three wishes!" With a wave of her hand and a puff of smoke, the room was filled with flowers, fruit and bottles of drink, proving that she did have the power to grant wishes before any of the nurses could think otherwise. The nurses quickly argued among themselves as to which one would ask for the first wish. Speaking up, the nursing assistant wished first. "I wish I were on a tropical island beach, with single, well-built men feeding me fruit and tending to my every need." With a puff of smoke, the nursing assistant was gone. The floor nurse went next. "I wish I were rich and retired, and spending my days in my own warm cabin at a ski resort with well-groomed men feeding me cocoa and doughnuts." With a puff of smoke, she too was gone. "Now, what is the last wish?" asked the lady. The charge nurse said, "I want those two back on the floor at the end of the lunch break."
has 71.53 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: communication, food, genie, nurse, work
Whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office. I will find you. You have my Word.
has 71.53 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: IT
Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
has 71.53 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, sport
What did the egg say to the boiling water? "How can you expect me to get hard so fast? I just got laid a minute ago."
has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: food, life, time
What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? A rumor.
has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: men
There was a plane crash into the jungle. A group of men survived, but were caught by savages and taken to their village. Then, chief came out of his cabbin and said:"You can choose between TUNGA-MUNGA and DEATH. What is your choice?". They looked one another and screamed:" Tunga-munga, tunga-munga!" Then chief turned to his tribe and ordered:" TUNGA-MUNGA!!" And prisoners got f****d by every single male in the tribe. Tomorrow, chief asked the same question, and they again chose tunga-munga.But,the thi rd day, they decided that they can't take it any more so they chose death instead. Chief asked if they were sure about their decision, and after affirmative answer he turned to his tribe and ordered:" TUNGA-MUNGA TILL DEATH!!"
has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about:
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