Chuck Norris can use a touch screen without touching it.
Chuck Norris doesn't compete, he wins.
Q: What do you call a cat that wants to have sex? A: freak.
Chuck Norris' primary weapon in Call of Duty is his roundhouse kick.
Q: Where do Snowmen go to dance? A: To snowballs.
Three blondes are stranded on an island. A fairy comes along and says that she will grant each person a wish. So the first blonde says she wants to be really smart so she digs and finds a cell phone and calls the Army. The second blonde says that she wants to be even smarter so she finds a flair and sets it off. The third blonde says that she wants to be even smarter than both of them, so the fairy changes her hair color to black and she says,"Let's go over the bridge."
Chuck Norris can put out fire with gasoline.
Leonardo DiCaprio had to ask permission from Chuck Norris to say the famous line "I'm the king of the world."
Chuck Norris can drink from an empty cup.
Chuck Norris roundhoused a guy so hard he starved to death before he stopped sliding.