Chuck Norris can actually punch you in the soul.
hen Chuck Norris goes fishing he stands at the edge of the water and says: "Don`t make me go in there to get you".
Chuck Norris can tap dance though a mine field... wearing clown shoes.
Q: What's the idea of a blonde of natural childbirth? A: No make-up.
Chuck Norris can install a 64 bit OS on 32 bit machines.
A plumber went to the attorneys house to unstop the sink. When he finished he said to the attorney "that will be $400.00." The attorney became irate "What do you mean $400.00, you were only here 20 minutes, that's ridiculous!!" The plumber replied, "I thought the same thing when I was an attorney".
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom." The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him. The man asks, "Is it serious, doctor?" The doctor replies, "I'm sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg."
If Chuck Norris misses a roundhouse-kick, you will still die.
Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
Chuck Norris has the iPhone 5...he got it back in '84.