Why do midgets laugh when they play soccer? because the grass tickles their balls :)
Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.
It's a proven fact that you will go blind faster staring at a picture of Chuck Norris than you would staring at the sun.
Chuck Norris takes a meteor shower in the morning to freshen up.
I put so much more effort into naming my first Wi-Fi than my first child.
Yo momma so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
What was Forrest Gump's email password? 1forrest1
A guy in the locker room saw another guy with a piece of cork up his ass. "Why do you have a cork up your ass?" "Well, it's a long story. But one day I was walking on the beach and I tripped over a bottle and woke up a genie who said he would grant me one wish. I said, 'No s**t!"
Q: How many people can you fit in one Honda? A: Well, the Bible said that all 12 disciples were in one Accord.