Best jokes ever

A plumber went to the attorneys house to unstop the sink. When he finished he said to the attorney "that will be $400.00." The attorney became irate "What do you mean $400.00, you were only here 20 minutes, that's ridiculous!!" The plumber replied, "I thought the same thing when I was an attorney".
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More jokes about: lawyer, money, time
A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, there's a piece of lettuce sticking out of my bottom." The doctor asks him to drop his trousers and examines him. The man asks, "Is it serious, doctor?" The doctor replies, "I'm sorry to tell you, but this is just the tip of the iceberg."
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If Chuck Norris misses a roundhouse-kick, you will still die.
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Industrial logging isn't the cause of deforestation. Chuck Norris needs toothpicks.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, work
Chuck Norris has the iPhone 5...he got it back in '84.
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Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? A: Because they can spend years at C!
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Chuck Norris can arrive anywhere without actually leaving.
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50Cent used to be called DollarBill but Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked him to the face and now he's half the man he used to be.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music
Q: How can you tell if you have smoked too much weed? A: You can't smoke too much weed.
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More jokes about: drug, weed
Chuck Norris has stared Fear in the face... and Fear looked away.
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