Yo mama so nasty that when she goes to the universal studios children follow her shouting "Shrek! Shrek!" 
Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive?
A: Her ankles.
Chuck Norris takes care of his guardian angel.
Vote:
Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science.
She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron.
Now it was question time, and she asked, “My name begins with the letter ‘M’ and I pick up things.
What am I?”
A little boy on the front row proudly said, “You’re a mother!”
Q: Did you hear about the blonde who shot an arrow into the air?
A: She missed.
Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.
Vote:
Mr. Brown was telling his son a bed-time story.
"Once upon a time there was a white bunny..."
"Jeez..dad it's boring,what about science fiction?"
"Ok,Ok" Mr Brown said.
"Once upon a time there was a Bunny who got onto a spacecraft and...."
"Dad, a little more grown up!"
"Do you promise me not to tell your mom?" asked Mr Brown.
" I swear!"
"Ok", "Once upon a time there was a naked bunny..."
Why did President Clinton name his dog Buddy instead of Spot?
Because he didn't want people running around the White House saying, "come Spot, come Spot!"
Vote:
Men are like.....Horoscopes.
They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
Yo Momma is so fat…
when she took her shirt off at the strip club,everyone thought she was Jabba The Hut from Star Wars.