Best jokes ever

Q: Why was the wizard kicked out of school. A: Because he forgot how to spell.
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: communication, memory, school
Two friends were having a discussion about their relatives.... "I'll never amount to anything in life..", said the one friend. "In fact, my uncle is the town drunk.." "Well...that's not too bad.", replied the other, trying to console his friend. "Where does your uncle live..?" "New York City..."
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, life
It only rains twice a year in Seattle: August through April and May through July.
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: geography, time, weather
There once was a gal named Lewinsky, Who played music like a Stravinsky. "Twas "Hail to the Chief" On this flute made of beef. That stole the front page from Kaczynski. Said Bill Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky, "We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynski. Since you look such a mess, Use the hem of your dress And wipe that goo off of your chinsky." Lewinsky and Clinton have shown. What Kaczynski must surely have known: That an intern is better. Than a bomb in a letter. Given the choice of how to be blown.
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: life, music
An old man and his wife went to the doctor's office. The doctor asked the man for a blood, urine and feces sample. The man was slightly deaf and said, "What?" The doctor said, "I need a blood, urine and feces sample." The man still looked puzzled, so his wife leaned over and yelled into his ear, "Sheldon, the doctor needs a pair of your underwear."
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has 71.52 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, wife
Q: What's the difference between a black guy and a elevator? A: The elevator can raise a child.
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has 71.52 % from 649 votes. More jokes about: black people, kids, racist
What happened to the Asian when he walked into a wall with a boner? He hit his nose.
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has 71.51 % from 671 votes. More jokes about: asian, racist
I went to an ISIS birthday party once. The musical chairs were a bit slow but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick.
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has 71.51 % from 198 votes. More jokes about: birthday, music, party, terrorist
What starts with "F" and ends with "UCK"? "firetruck"! What were you thinking? What starts with "P" and ends with "ORN"? "popcorn"! What were you thinking?!
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has 71.51 % from 811 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Three guys die and go to Hell. Satan asks the first guy, "What was your daddy when you were alive?" "He was a candle maker." So, Satan burns off the guy's d**k. Satan asks the second guy, "What was your daddy when you were alive?" "He was a rope maker." So, Satan rips off the guy's d**k with a rope. Satan asks the third guy, "What was your daddy when you were alive?" The guy smiles and says, "He made lollipops."
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has 71.50 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: death, dirty
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