Best jokes ever

If Charlie Sheen is winning, it's only because Chuck Norris isn't playing.
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More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, game
Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost.
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Chuck Norris' name is never on the guest list - because if Chuck Norris turns up, Chuck Norris gets in.
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Q: What is the name of 007's Eskimo cousin? A: Polar Bond.
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More jokes about: winter
When raining, Chuck Norris doesn't need an umbrella , he can dodge the rain drops.
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2012 is the predicted date for the end of the world. The only rational explanation is Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, time
The main distinction between a boss and the Pope is the Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
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More jokes about: christian, insulting, management
Usain Bolt is so fast I saw a Cheetah giving him a High 5.
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Man to friend: ‘I read a survey that said half the men in the UK masturbate in the shower, and the other half sing. Do you know what they sing?’ Friend: ‘No I don’t.’ Man: ‘I thought you wouldn’t.’
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More jokes about: sex
Q: What does a lesbian have in common with a mechanic? A: Snap-on tools!
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More jokes about: dirty, lesbian, mechanic