Trains stop at Chuck Norris crossings.
Once, Chuck Norris told Nike to "just do it..." and it did.
Chuck Norris won the Boston marathon in New York.
Three elderly gentlemen were talking about what their grandchildren would be saying about them fifty years from now. "I would like my grandchildren to say,that he was successful in business," declared the first man. "Fifty years from now," said the second, "I want them to say,that he was a loyal family man." Turning to the third gent, the first gent asked, "So what do you want them to say about you in fifty years?" "Me?" the third man replied. "I want them all to say, "He certainly looks good for his age!"
Chuck Norris got elected for president, even though he didn't run for anything.
Chuck Norris once played The Price Is Right. The prices attempted to guess the numbers Chuck Norris was thinking of.
Chuck Norris runs Windows Vista, and it has never crashed.
Q: What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.? A: Lazy.
The second hardest element in the universe is Chuck Norris. The first only comes into existance when Chuck gets excited.
Chuck Norris shaves with a hunting knife. "Shaving" consists of cutting a new mouth-hole every morning. That's how tough his beard is.