Chuck Norris once caught a cold, then he killed it!
The office Christmas party is a great opportunity to catch up with people you haven't seen for 20 minutes.
Q: How many hipsters does it take to flush a toilet? A: You can't touch that toilet, it's art.
Chuck Norris was banned from the Olympics because his mere presence is considered a performance-enhancing substance.
It only rains twice a year in Seattle: August through April and May through July.
Pawn Stars: Man: "Can I have change for a dollar?" Rick: "Best I can do is 75 cents."
The fact that the evil killer doll from the movie 'Child's play' is named 'Chucky' is not a coincidence.
Q: And the difference between tax avoidance and tax evasion? A: Jail.
So the buddhist pulls a gun out of his coat and the vendor says, "Whoa whoa whoa, what about inner peace?". The Buddhist responds "This is my inner piece".
Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? A: Because they can spend years at C!