Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? A: Because they can spend years at C!
Chuck Norris can arrive anywhere without actually leaving.
50Cent used to be called DollarBill but Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked him to the face and now he's half the man he used to be.
Q: How can you tell if you have smoked too much weed? A: You can't smoke too much weed.
Chuck Norris has stared Fear in the face... and Fear looked away.
Parents: "Why are you welcoming guests in your underwear? " Me: "Hated me to take off my underwear."
Q: What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale? A: Mr. President.
Chuck Norris's urin is said to add 300 horse power when added to your gas.
Q: How can you tell that a blonde been baking chocolate chip cookies? A: There are M&M shells all over the floor.
Chuck Norris can remember the future.