Best jokes ever

Q: What's worse than having termites in your piano? A: Crabs on your organ.
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has 71.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal, health
FOUR stages of girl & boy relation! 1. hand in hand. 2. that in hand. 3. hand in that. 4. that in that.
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has 71.63 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: life
Yo Momma is so fat… that when she wore a blue and green sweater,everyone thought she was Planet Earth.
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has 71.62 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: fat, Yo mama
Boy: "Hey baby, what's your sign?" Girl: "Do Not Enter!"
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has 71.62 % from 96 votes. More jokes about: flirt, mean, men, women
Little Johnny's class is reviewing the alphabet. His teacher knows that he has an "advanced" vocabulary for his age, so she avoids calling on him. When the teacher asks for a word beginning with "A," Little Johnny raises his hand. The teacher anticipates he'll say, "ass" so she calls on Mary Lou, who says "apple." This continues because the teacher knows that Little Johnny knows a cuss word for every letter of the alphabet. Then she gets to "R." She can't think of any cuss words that begin with R, so she calls on Johnny. He exclaims, "R is for rats big f**king rats, with 12-inch c**ks!"
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has 71.62 % from 249 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, little Johnny, teacher
I went to an ISIS birthday party once. The musical chairs were a bit slow but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick.
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has 71.61 % from 191 votes. More jokes about: birthday, music, party, terrorist
A man was walking through a rather seedy section of town, when a bum walked up to him and asked the man for two dollars. The man asked, "Will you buy booze?" The bum replied, "No." Then the man asked, "Will you gamble it away?" The bum said, "No." Then the man asked the bum, "Will you come home with me so my wife can see what happens to a man who doesn't drink or gamble?"
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has 71.61 % from 100 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, money, wife
A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Larry Johnson. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Larry asked: “What is the usual tip?” “Well,” replied the youth, “this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I’ll be doing great.” “Is that so?” snorted Larry. “Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here’s five dollars.” “Thanks,” replied the youth, “I’ll put this in my school fund.” “What are you studying in school?” asked Larry. The lad smiled and said: “Applied psychology.”
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has 71.60 % from 218 votes. More jokes about: college, money, school
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer, the second orders half a beer, the third orders a quarter of a beer, and so on. After the seventh order, the bartender pours two beers and says, "You fellas ought to know your limits."
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has 71.59 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, food, math
A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
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has 71.59 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: bar, IT, programmer
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