Best jokes ever

A SQL query goes into a bar, walks up to two tables and asks, "Can I join you?"
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has 71.59 % from 128 votes. More jokes about: bar, IT, programmer
In clas: 1+1=2 Exam: John has four apples and gives one away. Calculate the mass of the sun.
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has 71.58 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: school
The old man had died. A wonderful funeral was in progress and the country preacher talked at length of the good traits of the deceased, what an honest man he was, and what a loving husband and kind father he was. Finally, the widow leaned over and whispered to one of her children, "Go up there and take a look in the coffin and make sure that's your pa in there."
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has 71.58 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: cat, death, fish, funeral, little Johnny
Walking through Chinatown, a tourist is fascinated with all the Chinese restaurants, shops, signs and banners. He turns a corner and sees a building with the sign, "Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry." "Hans Olaffsen?", he muses. "How the heck does that fit in here?" So he walks into the shop and sees an old Chinese gentleman behind the counter. The tourist asks, "How did this place get a name like 'Hans Olaffsen’s Laundry?'" The old man answers, "Is name of owner." The tourist asks, "Well, who and where is the owner?" "Me, is right here," replies the old man. "You? How did you ever get a name like Hans Olaffsen?" "Is simple," says the old man. "Many, many year ago when come to this country, was stand in line at Documentation Center. Man in front was big blonde Swede. Lady look at him and go, 'What your name?' He say, 'Hans Olaffsen.' Then she look at me and go, 'What your name?' I say, 'Sem Ting.'"
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has 71.56 % from 336 votes. More jokes about: asian, blonde, food, life
"Yes brother," says Paddy. "Well I'm going on a business trip soon and if she gives birth while I'm away, I want you dear brother, to name the kids," says Mick. "It'll be an honour to do that for you Mick," says Paddy. A month later Paddy calls Mick. "Hello Mick, your wife's given birth to a boy and a girl, their beautiful," says Paddy. "That's wonderful Paddy, what did you call them?" says Mick. "I called the girl Deniece," says Paddy. "And what did you call the boy?" "I called the boy De nephew."
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has 71.56 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: baby, business, family, kids
My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it.
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has 71.55 % from 256 votes. More jokes about: family, life, work
Did you hear about the man who took Viagra and a laxative at the same time? He didn't know if he was coming or going.
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has 71.53 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, viagra
What do attorneys use for birth control? Their personalities.
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has 71.53 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: kids, lawyer, sex
Q: What do women and airplanes have in common? A: They both have a cockpit.
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has 71.53 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: airplane, dirty, women
Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.
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has 71.53 % from 229 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death
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