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Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? A: Because they can spend years at C!
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Chuck Norris can arrive anywhere without actually leaving.
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50Cent used to be called DollarBill but Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked him to the face and now he's half the man he used to be.
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Q: How can you tell if you have smoked too much weed? A: You can't smoke too much weed.
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Chuck Norris has stared Fear in the face... and Fear looked away.
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Parents: "Why are you welcoming guests in your underwear? " Me: "Hated me to take off my underwear."
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Q: What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale? A: Mr. President.
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Chuck Norris's urin is said to add 300 horse power when added to your gas.
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Q: How can you tell that a blonde been baking chocolate chip cookies? A: There are M&M shells all over the floor.
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Chuck Norris can remember the future.
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