Best jokes ever

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all enter a swim meet. The gun goes off, and the brunette quickly captures first, with the redhead coming in second. An hour later, the blonde emerges from the pool and complains to the judges that while she was doing the breast stroke, the others were using their arms.
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Girl: What if a boy hugs me? Mom: Say Don't Girl: What if he kisses me? Mom: Say stop. The next day when the girl goes to school her boyfriend hugs and kisses her well so she says as her mother told her to do and she quickly said DON'T STOP!...
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: life, school
A rather obese man is very excited about his new job and wants to start work immediately. However, when he sits down at his computer, the only program installed was spreadsheets. Confused, the man calls over his boss and asks:"Why there is only excel installed on this computer?" His boss replies, "It was the only program in your size!"
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: fat, IT, work
Kim and Kanye naming their baby North West is just like Brad Pitt naming his kid Arm.
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has 71.76 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: baby, celebrity, life, music
Yo mama so nasty that when she goes to the universal studios children follow her shouting "Shrek! Shrek!"
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has 71.76 % from 258 votes. More jokes about: insulting, kids, Yo mama
A guy walks into a bar with an alligator. It's about 10 feet long. The bartender flips out and says, "Hey buddy, you gotta get that son of a b*tch outta here. It's going to bite one of my customers and I'm going to get sued." The guy says, "No no no, it's a tame alligator. I'll prove it to you." He picks up the alligator and puts it on the bar. Then he unzips his pants, pulls out his package and sticks it in the alligator's mouth. The alligator just keeps his mouth open. After about 5 minutes, he pulls it out of the alligator's mouth and zips up his pants and says, "See, I told you it was a tame alligator. Anybody else want to try it?" The drunk down at the end of the bar says, "Yah, I'd like to try it but I don't think I can hold my mouth open that long!"
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has 71.76 % from 192 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, dirty, gay
I went to an ISIS birthday party once. The musical chairs were a bit slow but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick.
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has 71.76 % from 192 votes. More jokes about: birthday, music, party, terrorist
A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says "Show me it's true what they say about black men". So he stabs her and takes her purse.
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has 71.75 % from 1294 votes. More jokes about: black people
Teacher to student "Why is every answer on your test 'Chuck Norris'?" Student to teacher "Chuck Norris is the answer to all problems!"
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has 71.74 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Q: What does a blonde put behind her ears to make her more attractive? A: Her ankles.
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has 71.74 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: dirty
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