Chuck Norris isn't just a name, it's a cause of death.
Chuck Norris is so fast that when he runs, he can see his back.
Do you know why bankers are good lovers? They know first hand the penalty for early withdrawal.
When Chuck Norris punches someone in the stomach they get hit in the back of the head.
Kids dream about having superpowers. Superpowers dream about having Chuck Norris.
How can you tell if a man is happy? Who cares?
Chuck Norris's sign language is heard around the world.
Chuck Norris can turn toast back into bread.
A gentleman was having some physical problems and his doctor told him that he had to drink warm water with Epsom salts one hour before breakfast. At the end of a week he returned and the doctor asked if he was feeling better. The man said that he actually felt worse. “Did you drink warm salt water an hour before breakfast each day?” the Doc asked. “No,” replied the man somberly, letting out a sigh. “I could only do about 15 minutes!”
Salmon swim upstream because Chuck Norris is downstream.