Best jokes ever

It's 1957 and Bobby goes to pick up his date, Peggy Sue. Peggy Sue's father answers the door and invites him in. He asks Bobby what they're planning to do on the date. Bobby politely responds that they'll probably just go to the malt shop or to a drive-in movie. Peggy Sue's father suggests, "Why don't you kids go out and screw? I hear all of the kids are doing it." Bobby is shocked. "Excuse me, sir?" "Oh yes, Peggy Sue really likes to screw. She'll screw all night if we let her." Peggy Sue comes downstairs and announces that she's ready to go. About 20 minutes later, a thoroughly disheveled Peggy Sue rushes back into the house, slams the door behind her, and screams at her father, "Dad! The Twist! It's called the Twist!"
Vote:
has 84.67 % from 1643 votes. More jokes about: dating, kids, marriage, sex, time
Practical thought: A husband is supposed to make his wife's panties wet, not her eyes. A wife is supposed to make her husband's dick hard, not his life...
Vote:
has 84.66 % from 1251 votes. More jokes about: husband, life, marriage, sex, wife
Blonde 1: Don't tell anyone but Bees scare me. Blonde 2: Dont worry, the whole alphabet scares me
Vote:
has 84.66 % from 190 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde
Thomas is 32 years old and he is still single. One day a friend asked, "Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?" Thomas replied, "Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them." His friend thinks for a moment and says, "I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother." A few months later they meet again and his friend says, "Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?" With a frown on his face, Thomas answers, "Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much." The friend said, "Then what's the problem?" Thomas replied, "My father doesn't like her."
Vote:
has 84.66 % from 988 votes. More jokes about: family, marriage, single, wife, women
Little Johnny was only six years old when he tried to feel his sister's friend's pussy. She slapped him and said not to because it has teeth and will bite. As the years passed, and little Johnny one day grew to become a man, he was sitting in his car with his girlfriend, rubbing her thighs and squeezing her tits, when she said, "Aren't you going to feel my pussy?" He said, "I can't, its got teeth!" "Don't be a fool," she said, "have a look if you don't believe me." So he thought about it, then took off her panties and spread her legs. He looked in and said, "I'm not surprised you haven't got any teeth with gums like that!"
Vote:
has 84.64 % from 778 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny
A physician, an engineer, and an attorney were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest of the three professions represented. The physician said, "Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession." The engineer replied, "But, before that, God created the heavens and earth from chaos and confusion, and thus he was the first engineer. Therefore, engineering is an older profession than medicine." Then, the lawyer spoke up. "Yes," he said, "But who do you think created all of the chaos and confusion?"
Vote:
has 84.64 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: lawyer
While learning CPR Chuck Norris actually brought the practice dummy to life.
Vote:
has 84.64 % from 1118 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, life
Before sex, you help each other get naked. After sex, you dress only yourself. Moral: In life no one helps you once you're fucked.
Vote:
has 84.63 % from 524 votes. More jokes about: life, sex, vulgar
Chuck Norris uses a stunt double during crying scenes.
Vote:
has 84.63 % from 531 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Where's the best place to hide a body? Page two of Google.
Vote:
has 84.61 % from 580 votes. More jokes about: IT
<<<37383940
More jokes →
Page 37 of 1428.