Best jokes ever

Diogenes went to look for an honest lawyer. "How's it going?", someone asked. "Oh, not too bad", said Diogenes. "I still have my lantern."
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: communication, lawyer
Me driving by a Taco Bell. Sign: Now Hiring Managers. Two weeks later: Sign: Now Hiring Managers. Background Checks Required.
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: food, management, mean
A woman walks into her doctor's office and says, "Doctor, I need to lose weight fast." And the doctor says, "Instead of putting food in your mouth, try putting it up your butt." Two months later she comes in and says, "Doctor, it's a dream come true. I'm half the size I was." But the doctor notices that she is bouncing up and down up and down... and he asks, "But where did you get this twitch?" The woman replies, "I don't have a nervous twitch, I'm chewing bubble gum."
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, doctor, food, women
The thing programming and essay writing have in common: the easier the writing is to use, the harder it is to write.
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: coding, school
Everytime a someone tells me my jokes are funny, I say, "Thanks! I got more lines than Whitney Huston's coffee table.".
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, life
Three women were in a bar talking about their husbands and how they made love. The first woman said, “My husband is a psychologist, and before we make love, he brings me flowers and candy. I like that.” The second woman proclaimed, “My husband is a mechanic, he makes love a little rough, but really tunes my engine; I like that!” The third woman replied, “Well my husband works for Microsoft and all he does is sit on the edge of the bed and tell me how good it’s going to be, when I finally get it…”
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, computer, husband, love
Dad: Hey son want to hear a joke? Son: Yeah! Dad: Pussy. Son: I don't get it. Dad: Exactly...
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: men
Customer: "Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup." Waiter: "That’s all right sir, he won’t drink much."
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
Q: How many cost accountants does it take to change a light bulb? A: Hmmm... I'll just do a few numbers and get back to you.
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: accountant, light bulb, math, work
Yo mama is so stupid, I said it was going to be chili out and she grabbed a bowl and a spoon.
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has 69.19 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: Yo mama
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