Best jokes ever

My wife said to me, "For our anniversary I want to go somewhere I've never been before." So I said, "Try the kitchen!"
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has 69.28 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, communication, marriage, mean, travel
Q: What do SMART Blondes and UFOs have in common? A: You always hear about them but never see them.
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has 69.28 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: blonde
Q: Why was Tigger's head in the toilet? A: He was looking for pooh!
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has 69.28 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal
A man returns to the U.S. from Africa feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor, and is immediately rushed to the hospital, to undergo a barrage of extensive tests. The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital, and the phone by his bed rings. “This is your doctor. We’ve had the results back from your tests and we’ve found you have an extremely nasty virus, which is extremely contagious!” “Oh my gosh,” cries the man. He’s in a panic now. “What are you going to do, doctor?” “Well we’re going to put you on a diet of pizzas, pancakes, and pita bread.” “Will that cure me?” asked the man hopefully. The doctor replied, “Well no, but … it’s the only food we can get under the door.”
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has 69.28 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: black humor, doctor, food, health, hospital
Q: What is the show cesium and iodine love watching together? A: CSI
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has 69.28 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, love
Life is too short to remove USB safely.
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has 69.28 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: IT
What do a clitoris, an anniversary, and a toilet have in common? Men always miss them.
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has 69.28 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, men, sex
What do you call a Scottish iPhone? An AyePhone.
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has 69.28 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: IT, phone
A hitchhiker walks down the road. Unfortunately, he has the runs and has to stop every 15 minutes. A truck driver stops and offers a ride, but warns him that he won't stop for anything. About 10 minutes on the road, the hitchhiker begs the truck driver to stop, and the driver tells him, "Stick your butt out the window if you have to go so bad." The hitchhiker sticks his butt out the window and lets loose. Unfortunately, he doesn't notice the two guys walking on the roadside. Sprayed with feces, the first guy wipes his face and says, "What are them truckers chewing these days?" The second guy wipes his face and says, "I don't know, but did you see the lips on that guy?"
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has 69.28 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, time, travel
When asked for his name by the coffee shop clerk, my brother-in-law answered, "Marc, with a C." Minutes later, he was handed his coffee with his name written on the side: Cark.
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has 69.28 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: communication, customer service, family, stupid
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