Two elderly ladies were discussing the upcoming dance at the country club. "We're supposed to wear something that matches our husband's hair, so I'm wearing black," said Mrs. Smith. "Oh my," said Mrs. Jones, "I'd better not go."
Two deer walk out of a gay bar, one turns to the other and says, "I can't believe I blew twenty bucks in there..."
Stores accept Monopoly money from Chuck Norris.
Q: Would you burn your education certificate for 50 million us dollars? Me: I will burn my certificate, I will burn the school, the nearby schools and even the ministry of education I will also burn all the textbooks.
50Cent used to be called DollarBill but Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked him to the face and now he's half the man he used to be.
Chuck Norris has stared Fear in the face... and Fear looked away.
Q: What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale? A: Mr. President.
Chuck Norris can remember the future.
When Chuck Norris put his hand over a magnet, the magnet comes to him out of pure fear.
Q: You know why women haven't landed on the moon? A: Because there is no shopping centre.