Chuck Norris lives in a all white house with all white furniture and all white carpet. Why? Dirt knows better.
Girl: What if a boy hugs me? Mom: Say Don't Girl: What if he kisses me? Mom: Say stop. The next day when the girl goes to school her boyfriend hugs and kisses her well so she says as her mother told her to do and she quickly said DON'T STOP!...
Why are dolphins cleverer than humans? Within 3 hours they can train a man to stand at the side of a pool and feed them fish.
Harry Potter needs 8 movies to seek and destroy Voldemort. Chuck Norris needs 4 seconds.
Chuck Norris doesn't use OFF! Mosquitos instinctively know not to bite him.
It is better to give than to receive. This is especially true of a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick.
Chuck Norris doesn't need oxygen tanks when scuba diving. He simply sucks all the life out of the ocean to breath.
Chuck Norris doesn't have an attitude. He has a personality you can't handle.
Chuck Norris once killed a man in New York while practicing Bruce Lee's one inch punch... Chuck Norris was in San Franscisco at the time.
Q: What do you call a financial controller who always works through lunch, takes two days holiday every two years, is in the office every weekend, and leaves every night after 10 p.m.? A: Lazy.