Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage?
Because they are tired of using their own.
Bubba and Junior were standing at the base of a flagpole, looking up.
A woman walked by and asked what they were doing.
"We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder.
" The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down.
Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement and announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away.
Junior shook his head and laughed. "Ain't that just like a dumb blonde! We ask for the height, and she gives us the length!"
Q: What do you call a black priest?
A: Holy Shit.
How do you know when you honeymoon is over?
When he no longer smiles as he scrapes the burnt toast.
Q: How do you know that Democrats are a diverse people?
A: Because they keep count of how many people they know in each racial or ethnic category.
"I just had sexed in school today, dad! You lied to me! You told me if I have sex before my 16th biurthday, my boyfriend will die."
"Oh, he will, sweetheart, he will."
Chuck Norris doesn't prepare dinner; dinner knows when to be ready.
Vote:
Why did Osama Bin Laden kill his wife?
When she spread her legs he saw bush.
Vote:
Spider: Why are you terrified by me?
Me: Well the reasons I had have all now been replaced by the fact you can talk.