Best jokes ever

Husband takes the wife to a disco. There’s a guy on the dance floor giving it large – break dancing, moonwalking, back flips, the works. The wife turns to her husband and says: "See that guy? 25 years ago he proposed to me and I turned him down." Husband says: "Looks like he’s still fucking celebrating!!"
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has 69.13 % from 1038 votes. More jokes about: marriage
So, a gay man goes to church one Sunday. As the offering basket is passed, he drops in a big wad of bills. When the basket gets back to the minister, he notices the wad of money and announces: "Someone here was very generous in the offering today. I would like to ask the person who gave this large amount of money to please stand." The gay man stood up. The minister continued, "Well, sir, we certainly do appreciate your generosity. And to show our appreciation, I'm going to let you select your three favorite hymns." "Okay," the gay man replied, "I'll take him, him and him!"
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has 69.12 % from 214 votes. More jokes about: gay
A Mexican and a black person jump off a bridge, who wins? Society.
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has 69.08 % from 590 votes. More jokes about: black people, mexican, racist
What do you get when you take two hookers to Red Lobster? 10% off for bringing your own crabs.
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has 69.06 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: dirty
"Haven't I seen your face before?" a judge demanded, looking down at the defendant. "You have, Your Honor," the man answered hopefully. "I gave your son violin lessons last winter." "Ah, yes," recalled the judge. "Twenty years!"
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has 69.06 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: music, prison, school, time
Kids in the back seat cause accidents; accidents in the back seat cause kids.
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has 69.06 % from 171 votes. More jokes about: sex
I stopped a girl in the street last night and handed her a rape alarm and some pepper spray. She looked confused and said, "What are these for?" I started unbuttoning my jeans and replied, "I like a challenge."
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has 69.05 % from 759 votes. More jokes about: dirty
There's 1000 black guys and 1 white guy. What do you call the white guy? Warden.
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has 69.05 % from 1156 votes. More jokes about: black people, prison, racist, white people
Little Johnny was going to his faters house one day and he was packing everthing in his room and putting it in his little red wagon. He was walking to his fathers house with his wagon behind him, when he came to this hill. He started up the hill but was constantly swearing "This damn thing is so heavy" A priest heard him and came out. "You shouldn't be swearing" said the priest. "God hears you...He is everywhere...He's in the chruch...He's on the sidewalk...He's everywhere" Then Little Johnny says "Oh is he in my Wagon" The priest replies "Yes Johnny God is in your Wagon" Little Johnny says "Well tell him to get the hell out and start pulling"
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has 69.03 % from 259 votes. More jokes about: church, dad, god, little Johnny, priest
Robert came home from work one day to find his wife on the front porch with her bags packed. 'Just where the heck do you think you're going!', Asked Robert. 'I'm going to Nairobi', said the wife, 'I just found out I can get 4000 a night for what I give you for free! 'Robert said, 'Wait a minute!', and then ran inside the house only to come back a few minutes later with his suitcases in hand. 'Where the heck are you going?', said the wife. Robert said, 'I want to see how you're gonna live on 8000 a year!'
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has 69.02 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: money, sex, travel, wife, work
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