Yo mama so fat that when she works out too long she starts sweating cooking oil.
Paint a bar of soap completely with clear nail polish so it won't suds up.
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Q: 0 is false and 1 is true, right?
A: 1.
A little boy was taken to the dentist.
It was discovered that he had a cavity that would have to be filled.
"Now, young man," asked the dentist, "what kind of filling would you like for that tooth?"
"Chocolate, please," replied the youngster.
Police Chief: As a recruit, you'll be faced with some difficult issues.
What would you do if you had to arrest your mother?
New Recruit: Call for backup!
Q: How do you know that Democrats are a diverse people?
A: Because they keep count of how many people they know in each racial or ethnic category.
So, a gay man goes to church one Sunday.
As the offering basket is passed, he drops in a big wad of bills.
When the basket gets back to the minister, he notices the wad of money and announces: "Someone here was very generous in the offering today. I would like to ask the person who gave this large amount of money to please stand."
The gay man stood up.
The minister continued, "Well, sir, we certainly do appreciate your generosity.
And to show our appreciation, I'm going to let you select your three favorite hymns."
"Okay," the gay man replied, "I'll take him, him and him!"
There is no backspace button on Chuck Norris' keyboard.
Chuck Norris never makes mistakes.
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My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions.
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Bro, send me some good jokes.
Sorry, now I'm busy with my Girlfriend.
Good One! Send me more.
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