Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris once gave a fire hydrant a ticket for being next to his parked car.
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How many God-fearing, tax-paying, law-abiding men in Las Vegas does it take to light a bonfire? Both of them.
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Patient: "May I have a glass of water, doctor." Doctor: "Are you thirsty?" Patient: "No… I just wanted to check whether my throat leaks."
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Chuck Norris once stood on a bridge in London. Then they wrote a song about it.
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What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A cockerpoodlemoo.
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Do you know why Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow? You just don't follow him that close!
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A Jehovah's Witnesses knocked on my door yesterday, so I answered it and asked if he wanted to come in he said, "Yeah, okay." I said I'm just making a cup of tea do you want one? He said, "Yeah, sure." I said I've just made some toast do you want a slice? He said, "Yeah, why not." I then he sat down and I asked him, "So what now?" He said, "I don't know I've never got this far before!"
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Chuck Norris' yawn put people in comas.
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If Chuck Norris jumped off the Empire State Building, your mom would tell you to do it too.
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Chuck Norris doesn't breathe, he holds air hostage.
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