Q: What happens when you stick you hand in a jar of jellybeans?
A: The black ones steal your watch.
Vote:
Kissing is a habit
Fucking is a game
Guys get all the pleasure
Girls get all the pain
The guy says I love you
You believe its true
But when your tummy starts to swell,
He says 'to hell with you'
10 minutes of pleasure
9 months in pain
3 days in hospital
A baby without a name
The baby is a bastard
The mother is a whore
This never wouldn't have happened
If the rubber wouldn't have torn
So, a gay man goes to church one Sunday.
As the offering basket is passed, he drops in a big wad of bills.
When the basket gets back to the minister, he notices the wad of money and announces: "Someone here was very generous in the offering today. I would like to ask the person who gave this large amount of money to please stand."
The gay man stood up.
The minister continued, "Well, sir, we certainly do appreciate your generosity.
And to show our appreciation, I'm going to let you select your three favorite hymns."
"Okay," the gay man replied, "I'll take him, him and him!"
There is no backspace button on Chuck Norris' keyboard.
Chuck Norris never makes mistakes.
Vote:
My New Year's resolution is to stop hanging out with people who ask me about my New Year's resolutions.
Vote:
Bro, send me some good jokes.
Sorry, now I'm busy with my Girlfriend.
Good One! Send me more.
Vote:
Q: What is another name for a gynecologist?
A: A private investigator.
"Honey, on this Valentine's Day, I want to tell you something... I'm not rich like Jack, I don't have a mansion like Russell, or I don't have a Porsche like Martin, but I do love you and want to marry you."
"Oh, dear... I love you too... but, what was that you said about Martin?"
A man who wants to murder his wife goes in a pharmacy and asks for cyanide.
"I'm sorry sir, but I can't give you cyanide just like that."
Without a word, the man takes out his wife's photograph and holds it in front of him.
The pharmacist apologizes, "My mistake, I didn't realize you had a prescription."
Vote:
Q: Why didn't the toilet paper cross the road?
A: Cause it got stuck in a crack.