Best jokes ever

How do you keep a blonde in suspense? "Present her with a mirror and tell her to wait for the other person to say ‘Hello'."
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Q: What do squirrels give for Valentine's Day? A: Forget-me-nuts.
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Chuck Norris CAN leave Hotel California.
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Chuck Norris can pick oranges from an apple tree and make the best lemonade youve ever tasted.
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Chuck Norris has a diary. It's called the Guinness Book of World Records.
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Q: Why did Hitler hate golf? A: Because he ended up in the bunker.
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Across all of the infinite number of parallel universes the version of Chuck Norris is the same. Nature knows perfection when she sees it.
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Change the coffee in the office coffee maker to decaf.
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Rules of fighting: 1) Don't bring a knife to a gun fight. 2) Don't bring a gun to a Chuck Norris fight.
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Thundergun shot is a Chuck Norris sneeze.
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