Yo' Mama is so nasty, she uses bacon as bandages.
Yo' Mama is so nasty, her crabs use her tampon string as a getaway rope.
As someone died, Saint. Peter gave him a tour to the new place.
While wandering he sees an old familiar guy who was accompanied by a very ugly woman.
He asks Saint Peter: "But how does the man walks around with a woman like that when he spent his life with the most beautiful women?"
"Oh my child, he killed a pigeon when he was alive and now he is being punished."
They walk further down, and meets another friend with a frighteningly ugly women.
"Holy God but he was circulated only by models when he was alive, how come he withstands this now?"
"O my child that man killed two pigeons when he was alive."
They continued wandering and suddenly he sees someone who was so ugly and stupid and never had any woman when he lived.
But he was accompanied by THE WOMAN!
Extra tall and hotty.
The man lost his mind.
"Holy God, but such an ugly face with such a gorgeous woman?"
"Yes my son, but this hotty burned the whole pigeon house, when she was alive!"
Yo' Mama is so poor, my jack-o-lantern gets better dental work then she does.
A man and his son were walking through a field, and saw two dogs mating.
The little boy asked his Dad what was happening.
The father replied, “Well, son, they’re making a puppy.”
The following evening, the little boy was thirsty, so he went from his bed to get a glass of water.
Not being able to reach the glasses, he walked unannounced into his parents bedroom, who were making love in their usual missionary position.
Confused, the boy asked what were they doing.
The dad responded very slowly and caringly to his impressionanle little boy, “Well, son, we are making you a little brother.”
The little boy replied ,”Please turn Mom over, Dad, I’d rather have a puppy!”
When Chuck Norris asks you to stop mid-sentence, you.
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Camper: "Look at that bunch of cows."
Farmer: "Not bunch, herd."
Camper: "Heard what?"
Farmer: "Of cows."
Camper: "Sure I've heard of cows."
Farmer: "No, I mean a cowherd."
Camper: "So what? I have no secrets from cows."
Why did the potato cross the road?
He saw a fork up ahead.
Q: What do women and airplanes have in common?
A: They both have a cockpit.
Knock, knock
Who's there?
I'm Mr, Farter.
Mr, Farter who?
I've brought some insecticides to give to your mother in law!
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