It's so quiet in the Hollywood Starbucks this morning, you can hear a name drop.
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I would tell a joke about a bed, but it hasn't been made up yet.
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What does a bunny use when it goes fishing?
A harenet.
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato?
Anything, just butter him up.
Your mama is so short, she was able to get an job application with the Oompa Loompas!
Q: Why wasn't the bodybuilder evicted?
A: Because he was squatting.
When somebody is totally angry, why not say:
"Yes, young Skywalker. Come over to the dark side of the Force."
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Girlfriend: "I'm sick of you pretending you're a detective. We should split."
Me: "Good idea. We can cover more ground that way."
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A brunette and a blonde are walking in the park.
The brunette asks: "Hey can you see that forest over there?"
The blonde looks that way and answers: "I can't, the trees are covering the view."
Q: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a dog have in common?
A: Wet noses.