After an accident... 1st Driver : I flashed the headlights and told you to let me go first. 2nd Driver : I also started the wipers and said NO NO...
In Soviet Russia, Chuck Norris still kicks your ass.
A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead team were sent out to install telephone poles for the Telephone Company. After the first day, the brunette team had installed 30 poles, the redhead team had installed 37 poles, and the blonde team had installed 7. The contractor was outraged with the blonde team and demanded to know why they had done so few. "Hey, we saw what the other teams were doing. Their's were still sticking out of the ground."
Write a message on an upside-down paper cup that alludes to something horrible being trapped under it. Leave it on a coworker's desk or in a conference room.
Angelina Jolie can curve a bullet. Chuck Norris can curve a laser.
Q: What do you call 15 blondes in a circle? A: A dope ring.
Find a sleeping person, fill their hand with shaving cream and then tickle their nose.
Superman is faster then a speeding bullet. Chuck Norris just runs Superman down and keeps going.
There is a lady laying in bed. At about midnight her husband comes walking in with a sheep under his arm and says ”That’s the fat pig I’ve been sleeping with when I’m not sleeping with you.” His wife gets a confused look on her face and states ”but honey that’s not a pig its a sheep.” Her husband says ”Shut up pig I’m talking to the sheep!”
Years ago Chuck Norris set up a simple little home network and gave it a name. It's called the internet.