A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party in a bar.
When she saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned: "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that suit.
"And why not, darling?", the father asked.
You know that it always gives you a headache the next morning."
Just had an argument with the manager in McDonald's.
What a clown!
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After spending 20 minutes trying to get my wife's bra off, I decided to give up,
I wish I'd never put it on now.
Q: Did you hear that the White House isn't displaying it's Nativity scene this year?
A: They couldn't find the three wise men!
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Q: Why aren't Pakistani good at Football?
A: Because every time they get a Corner, they open a shop.
To understand what recursion is, you must first understand recursion.
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One day little Johnny was walking up a hill pulling his red wagon behind him saying, "F**k this," "F**k that."
The town priest hears this and walks up to Johnny and says,"You shouldn't swear like that, Johnny. God is all around us."
"Is he in the sky?" asks Johnny.
"Yes," says the priest.
"Is he in that bush over there?" asks Johnny.
"Yes," says the priest."
Is he in my wagon?" asked Johnny.
"Yes," says the priest.
"Well tell him to get the f**k out and push!"
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Chuck Norris can set water on fire.
He can also set fire on water.
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That awkward moment when you're about to hug someone sexy as hell and then you hit the mirror.
Patient: "Doctor, my son has swallowed a pen. What can I do?"
Doctor: "Use a pencil till I come to see your son."
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