Jeremy and Kris walk down the street and see a dog licking himself.
Jeremy says, "Man, I wish I could do that!"
Kris replies, "I think you'd have to pet him first."
Vote:
Q: What do you call a snake who works for the government?
A: A civil serpent.
What does a bunny use when it goes fishing?
A harenet.
What do you say to an angry 300-pound baked potato?
Anything, just butter him up.
A brunette and a blonde are walking in the park.
The brunette asks: "Hey can you see that forest over there?"
The blonde looks that way and answers: "I can't, the trees are covering the view."
Q: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a dog have in common?
A: Wet noses.
Yo Momma is so poor when her friend came over to use the bathroom she said ok, choose a corner.
I went to the pet shop and asked for 12 bees
The clerk counted out 13 bees and handed them over.
"You've given me one too many" I said.
"That one is a freebie"
Yo mama is so fat, iPod converts into iPad, when she sits on it.
In the war, a German ship suspected that they were being tracked by an Irish submarine.
Unfortunately, they had used up all of their depth-charges.
As an alternative, one of their Divers decided to swim down to the submarine and knock on the door.