Best jokes ever

After browsing the restaurant menu, I had a question for the waitress. "About the salmon entrée, is that a steak or a fillet?" "Neither," she said. "It's a fish."
Vote:
has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: customer service, fish, food
We never knew he was a drunk... until he showed up to work sober.
Vote:
has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, work
The secret of enjoying a good bottle of wine: 1. Open the bottle to allow it to breathe. 2. If it doesn't look like it's breathing, give it mouth-to-mouth.
Vote:
has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, drunk, wine
A teller at our credit union was assisting a member with a loan application. "Do you have references?" she asked. The member replied, "Do they have to be living?"
Vote:
has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: life, money
There were only two people in line ahead of me at the electronics store, yet the wait was dragging on forever. Finally, the customer behind me muttered, "Mr. Hare must be on vacation." Only then did I notice the name tag on the man at the register. It read: "Mr. Turtle, sales associate."
Vote:
has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: customer service, holiday, time
Jim is up north on a trip and his car breaks down. He checks it out for a minute and being a mechanic he pretty quickly knows he needs a tow truck. He opens his phone and has no signal so he starts walking. A few minutes later he here's the bass of a car coming in the distance, bht dum dum do buh dum dum do. He waits and sees a low riding car pull up next to him. The windows roll down and smoke pours out. He sees a bunch of empty beer bottles. The driver and his 3 passengers ask "hey man! Need a lift? We saw your car up the road?" He thinks for a minute and decides not to go with them. The ask what's wrong with the car the mechanic replies "uhh just piston broke that's all" the driven than replies "eh so are we man hop in!"
Vote:
has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: car, communication, men, phone, travel
A boastful hunter kept telling his buddies the same story, and they chided him for telling it over and over. He reminded them that they often tell the same stories. "Not so," said one friend. "We re-share, you repeat."
Vote:
has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: communication, friendship, hunting
Q: How did the first man die from using Viagra? A: The tablet got stuck in his throat and he died from a stiff neck.
Vote:
has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: death, medical, viagra
Q: What is the definition of an extroverted tax accountant? A: Someone who stares at YOUR shoes when talking to you.
Vote:
has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: accountant, communication, tax
Girl: "I can't be your valentine for medical reasons." Boy: "Really?" Girl: "Yeah, you make me sick!"
Vote:
has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: health, medical, Valentines day
<<<439440441442
More jokes →
Page 439 of 1429.