Q: Why wasn't the bodybuilder evicted?
A: Because he was squatting.
When somebody is totally angry, why not say:
"Yes, young Skywalker. Come over to the dark side of the Force."
Vote:
Girlfriend: "I'm sick of you pretending you're a detective. We should split."
Me: "Good idea. We can cover more ground that way."
Vote:
Q: Why does the Avon Lady walk funny?
A: Because of her "Lipstick".
Vote:
A brunette and a blonde are walking in the park.
The brunette asks: "Hey can you see that forest over there?"
The blonde looks that way and answers: "I can't, the trees are covering the view."
Q: What do a nearsighted gynecologist and a dog have in common?
A: Wet noses.
I went to the pet shop and asked for 12 bees
The clerk counted out 13 bees and handed them over.
"You've given me one too many" I said.
"That one is a freebie"
Yo Momma is so poor when her friend came over to use the bathroom she said ok, choose a corner.
Q: What do birds give out on Halloween?
A: Tweets!
Vote:
In the war, a German ship suspected that they were being tracked by an Irish submarine.
Unfortunately, they had used up all of their depth-charges.
As an alternative, one of their Divers decided to swim down to the submarine and knock on the door.