Best jokes ever

A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's steering wheel stuck to the front of his pants. The bartender asks, "Hey, doesn't that hurt?" The pirate growls, "Aye, it's drivin' me nuts."
Vote: has 68.14 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, dirty, pirate
The mother of a problem child was advised by a psychiatrist, "You are far too upset and worried about your son. I suggest you take tranquilizers regularly." On her next visit the psychiatrist asked, "Have the tranquilizers calmed you down?" "Yes", the boy's mother answered. "And how is your son now?" the psychiatrist asked. "Who cares?" the mother replied.
Vote: has 68.14 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: women
Did you hear about Ku Klux Kineivals latest stunt? He is going to try to jump 50 niggers with a steam roller.
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More jokes about: black people, racist
Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time, and she asked, “My name begins with the letter ‘M’ and I pick up things. What am I?” A little boy on the front row proudly said, “You’re a mother!”
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More jokes about: school, science
Me: Staring contest. Go! Me: O.O Friend: -.- Me: I win! You blinked! Haha Friend: You bastard, I'm asian!
Vote: has 68.13 % from 248 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: asian, racist
A white guy walks into a bar and asked a black guy for a bl*w job. The black guy beat him up and threw him out of the bar. The bartender then asked, "What did he say to you? The black guy responded I don't know all I heard is something about a job!!
Vote: has 68.11 % from 449 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, bartender, black people, sex, work
Unexpected sex - is the best thing to wake up, unless you're in prison...
Vote: has 68.05 % from 271 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: sex
Saw this bumper sticker in L.A. - "I'm not drunk, I'm Asian"
Vote: has 68.05 % from 81 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, asian, racist
Rudolph the well hung reindeer, Had a great enormous cock, All he could ever do with it, was beat it off inside a sock, All of the female reindeer, Had pussies that were just too small, Poor old well hung Rudolph, Could not get any sex at all, Then one horny Christmas eve, Santa came to say, "Rudolph with your cock so strong... Fuck my arsehole all night long!" Then all the reindeer loved him, A few of them were heard to say, "Rudolph the well hung reindeer... You're so lucky Santa's gay"
Vote: has 68.03 % from 141 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dirty, gay, sex
What do you call a gay guy with a sixteen-inch d**k? A pain in the ass!
Vote: has 68.02 % from 134 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gay