Best jokes ever

When Chuck Norris enters into a courtroom, the judge stands up.
Vote:
has 83.63 % from 498 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Q: What's the last thing you usually hear before a redneck dies? A: Hey y'all... Watch this!
Vote:
has 83.62 % from 411 votes. More jokes about: black humor, death, redneck
I told my wife that a man is like a fine wine... I always get better with age. The next day, she locked me in the wine cellar.
Vote:
has 83.62 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: age, communication, mean, wife, wine
An ugly, fat, bad woman with two kids enters Wal Mart, shouting angry at the kids with no reason. The man at the reception says cheerfully to her: "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Cute kids! Are they twins?" The horrible woman stopped shouting, just enough to say, "Hell, they’ re not twins… The older is 9 and the other is 7! Are you blind or just stupid?" "No madam... I’m neither blind nor stupid... I just can’t get that there’s a man out there who had sex with you twice."
Vote:
has 83.62 % from 801 votes. More jokes about: fat, kids, stupid, ugly, women
Boy calls 911. Boy: Hello? I need your help! 911: Alright, What is it? Boy: Two girls are fighting over me! 911: So what's your emergency? Boy: The ugly one is winning.
Vote:
has 83.62 % from 357 votes. More jokes about: women
Chuck Norris ordered a Big Mac at Burger King, and got one.
Vote:
has 83.62 % from 431 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
My teacher said, "If you think about anything long enough, it gets easier." I said, "I don't know about that Miss. Last night I was thinking about you for a bit and it just got harder."
Vote:
has 83.62 % from 511 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny
Chuck Norris donates his beard clippings to the Army so they can make Kevlar vests.
Vote:
has 83.60 % from 464 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris once replied to a 'no-reply' mail, and got the answer he wanted.
Vote:
has 83.60 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Q: When is the only time a guy can multi-task? A: When he's watching porn, masturbating, and keeping an eye on the door at the same time...
Vote:
has 83.59 % from 437 votes. More jokes about: dirty, masturbation, men, time
<<<56575859
More jokes →
Page 56 of 1428.