Chuck Norris can win an argument with his wife.
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Meteors didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just needed a new pair of boots.
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Every resturant has a drive thru when you're riding shotgun with Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can delete the Recycling Bin.
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Chuck Norris and Justin Bieber once had a singing contest, the loser had to never hit puberty.
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The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.
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Chuck Norris can check his facebook on a typewriter.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a theme song because, you won't hear anything once your roundhouse kicked in the face.
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April doesn't fool Chuck Norris, Chuck Norris fools April.
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When Chuck Norris was 8 years old he got into a pillow fight with his older brother, that's why he's now an only child.
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When Chuck Norris falls over, the ground needs a band-aid
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