Chuck Norris can win an argument with his wife.
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When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
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Chuck Norris' Facebook status has a dislike button...nobody clicks it.
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When Chuck Norris tries to kill himself, he always dodges the killing blow 'cause he's that awesome.
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Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
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Davie Jones is afraid of Chuck Norris' Locker.
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There is no theory of evolution.
Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
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Chuck Norris's favourite drink is diamond juice, which he squeezes out of raw diamonds with his bare hands.
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Chuck Norris won the London Marathon in 2005 while sunbathing in California.
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Chuck Norris doesn't mow his lawn, he dares his grass to grow.
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Do you know why babys cry when they are born?
Because they know they are entering the world with chuck Norris in it.
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