Chuck Norris can win an argument with his wife.
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With just two toothpicks, a lightbulb, and his RoundHouse Kick, Chuck Norris can override the Pentagon's computer system.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need to wear steel toes, his toes already are.
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Chuck Norris is the only person who can kick someone in the back of the face.
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Meteors didn't kill the dinosaurs, Chuck Norris just needed a new pair of boots.
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Chuck Norris once created a time machine and had to fight himself.
We call it The Big Bang.
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Chuck Norris does not own a house.
He walks into random houses and people move.
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Some say that Chuck Norris is the Stig.
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Chuck Norris once went to practice his golf swing at a driving range... his golf balls are now known as stars!
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Chuck Norris cannot love, he can only not kill.
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Chuck Norris eats gummy bears and shits out grizzly bears.
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