Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
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A kid once tried to scare Chuck Norris on Halloween... sadly he has had the hiccups now for 40 years.
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Chuck Norris walks into a bar... the beer starts to run.
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When chuck Norris was in school, he made his PE teacher run laps.
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Chuck Norris can build a Water Dam...
In the Sahara Desert.
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Not everyone that Chuck Norris is mad at gets killed.
Some get away.
They are called astronauts.
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Lactose is Chuck Norris intolerant.
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When Chuck Norris goes skydiving at 10,000 feet he jumps into the plane... from the ground.
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When Chuck Norris gets pulled over he read the officers his rights.
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Atlas doesn't drop the earth because he knows Chuck Norris lives in it.
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Chuck Norris once won a blinking contest against a statue!
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