Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
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Chuck Norris can eat peanut butter with a straw.
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Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies.
He potato-sacks them.
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When you come to a road that says "ONE WAY", that mean Chuck Norris is the other way.
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The Beatles' song "HELP" was written after they met Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris once ordered a steak in a restaurant.
The steak did what it was told.
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Chuck Norris can set magnifying glasses on fire...using ants.
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When Chuck Norris roundhouse kicks, physics decides to shut up.
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Chuck Norris once saw Spiderman on a wall and then folded his newspaper.
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Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
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I once made a joke about Chuck Norr...
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