Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
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Chuck Norris can kill you as many times as he wants to.
He knows CPR.
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Chuck Norris uses 8'x10' sheets of plywood as toilet paper.
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Chuck Norris can kill a man in 52 different ways using only a ballpoint pen.
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Chuck Norris doesn't have a shadow. His shadow isn't stupid enough to follow him around.
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Chuck Norris is so awesome, he can dodge rain.
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You know Chuck Norris' pet lizard, right?
Last I heard, he was in the movie "Godzilla".
Oh, and his pet turtle starred in "Gamera" as well.
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Chuk Norris was only twice angry, and those times are known as WWI and WWII.
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Chuck Norris counted to infinity - three times.
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Chuck Norris will never have a heart attack.
His heart isn't nearly foolish enough to attack him.
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Guns can kill, Chuck Norris does!
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