Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
Chuck Norris once won a rap battle against Eminem. He just kept saying "Chuck Norris" in a raplike-fashion. The crowds' heads exploded from amazement.
Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
Chuck Norris's wish isn't your command, Chuck Norris's command is your wish...
Chuck Norris once cried just to see what it was like. The end result was the creation of life.
Latin insulted Chuck Norris. It is now a dead language.
Chuck Norris can eat the inside of an orange without peeling it.
Chuck Norris invented zombies so that he can kill his victims again.
Chuck Norris has a lot to contribute to the Third World... War.
There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Chuck Norris allows to live.
Chuck Norris doesn't give warnings. He doesn't have to, you should already know.