Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
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Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats.
Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
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If Chuck Norris ran for president, the competition would drop out, and he would get infinite terms.
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The reason Tom Cruise runs in all his movies is because he's running the hell away from Chuck Norris.
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Chuck norris went skydiving and his parachute failed to open, so he took it back the next day for a refund
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Chuck Norris beat Halo 3 on legendary, with a broken Guitar Hero controller.
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When Chuck Norris works out at the gym, he doesn't sweat.
The weights do.
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Chuck Norris knows what color a smurf turns when you choke it.
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Chuck Norris actually went to Rome by all roads. At the same time.
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You've heard that Chuck Norris counted to infinity twice, right?
Well he's currently making his third attempt.
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Once someone forgot to stand up when Chuck Norris entered the room.
Chuck roundhouse kicked him into the man behind him creating a nuclear explosion.
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