Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
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When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
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Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.
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Chuck Norris is the only person in the world that can actually email a roundhouse kick.
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Chuck Norris puts his pants on one leg at a time, just like the rest of us.
The only difference is, then he kills people.
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When Chuck Norris plays sudoku, he can put two same numbers in one square and still solve it right.
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Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers the probability of failure.
Chuck Norris goes killing.
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When Chuck Norris says 'Candyman' five times in a row, no one appears.
Candyman ain't stupid.
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Most people have 23 pairs of chromosomes.
Chuck Norris has 72... and they're all poisonous.
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Chuck Norris doesn't use anti-virus. Viruses use anti-Chuck Norris.
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Chuck Norris can lie honestly.
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