Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
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When Chuck Norris pours a bowl of Rice Krispies, they shut the hell up!
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Chuck Norris never actually roundhouse kicks anyone, the world just spins underneath him when he lifts his legs.
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Chuck Norris originally appeared in the "Street Fighter II" video game, but was removed by Beta Testers because every button caused him to do a roundhouse kick. When asked bout this "glitch," Norris replied, "That's no glitch."
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Chuck Norris once caught AIDS... but then he let it go.
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Scientis cannot figure out where Atlantis is...
Chuck Norris owns a villa there.
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The Mona Lisa is smiling because Chuck Norris let her live.
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Chuck Norris' muscles are so developed that he's had intellectual conversations with them.
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Scientists called it a big bang, Chuck Norris called it an alarm clock.
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Chuck Norris can tell you what a lethal injection feels like
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The climate requires Chuck's permission to change.
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