Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
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Chuck Norris is so cool, ice cubes are jealous...
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Chuck Norris once round house kicked a fat kid in the stomach and his foot print stayed their until the kid lost the weight.
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There was a school about learning roundhouse kicks.
No one finished it.
Why?
Chuck Norris kicked them with a roundhouse kick.
It's his only weakness so no one must know how to do Roundhouse Kick!
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Don King once had straight hair, until that day he saw Chuck Norris' eyes staring him down.
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Chuck Norris once caught a cold, then he killed it!
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In the beginning, God created light because Chuck allowed him to.
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Chuck Norris really can get chicken from a tuna can.
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Chuck Norris can get a strike in bowling using a ping-pong ball.
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When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay:
"What is courage?"
He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
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Chuck Norris once had to go to court...the judge got life in prison.
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