Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.
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When Chuck Norris goes to donate blood, he declines the syringe, and instead requests a hand gun and a bucket.
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Chuck Norris is the only man who can put M&M's in alphabetical order.
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Chuck Norris dosn't need a gun, he points an says pow!
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Chuck Norris has no need to walk.
The universe simply moves around him.
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Chuck Norris was once bitten by a venomous cobra ....
After 5 days of excrutiating pain the cobra
Eventually died
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Chuck Norris doesn't pick up his food to eat it.
He commands it to enter his mouth.
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Across all of the infinite number of parallel universes the version of Chuck Norris is the same.
Nature knows perfection when she sees it.
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Randy Johnson can throw a fastball 101mph.
Chuck Norris can throw Randy Johnson 101mph.
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Chuck Norris checks under his bed for Fedor Emelianenko because he takes Fedor to the vet regularly.
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Chuck Norris puts ice cube trays in the cupboard, and he gets ice.
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