Q: Whats the generic form of Viagra? A: Mycoxaflopin.
Birthdays are good for your health. Studies have shown that people who have more birthdays live longer.
A guy walks into a bar carrying a pair of jumper cables. He sets em down on the bar. And then the bartender said "Now dont you start anything!"
Little boy says to his father: "Daddy, I heard on the news that cigarettes have become much more expensive. Does it mean that you're going to smoke less from now on?" And father replies: "No, son. I will smoke as much as a have. But, you'll be eating less!"
Q: Which Bible character had no parents? A: Joshua, son of Nun (Joshua 1:1).
If Chuck Norris was in a video game it would be called Immortal Kombat.
Q: Why was the farmer arrested at the gym? A: He was destroying his calves.
A farmer was helping one of his cows give birth when he noticed his four-year-old son standing at the fence with wide eyes, taking in the whole event. The man thought to himself, "Great, he's four years old and I'm gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees now. No need to jump the gun. I guess I'll let him ask and then I'll answer." After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said, "Well son, do you have any questions?" "Just one," gasped the wide-eyed lad. "How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?"
How does a man take a bubble bath? He eats beans for dinner.
Chuck Norris can make you fold a Royal Flush.