Mummy, mummy, why is daddy swaying in the backyard?
Shut up, and give me more bullets.
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Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. "How do you breathe through something so small?"
Person 1: Global Warming doesn't exist. Chuck Norris was cold so he turned the sun up.
Person 2: That's bullhsh*t! everyone knows Chuck Norris doesn't get cold!
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Chuck Norris can see all 50 states from his house.
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Dad: "Who do you think the committee screwed this year?"
Me: "Mom."
50Cent used to be called DollarBill but Chuck Norris Roundhouse kicked him to the face and now he's half the man he used to be.
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Chuck Norris once played The Price Is Right.
The prices attempted to guess the numbers Chuck Norris was thinking of.
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Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?
Q: What do you give a sick bird?
A: Tweetment!
If at first you don't succeed, you are not Chuck Norris.
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