Yo momma's so stupid, she took a spoon to the Super Bowl.
Two drunks are sitting side by side in a bar. One of the drunks goes to the bathroom but neglects to button up his fly when he’s finished. He staggers back to the bar, sits on a bar stool, and his penis flops out on the bartop. The other drunk yells, ‘Snake!’ and hits the penis with a bottle. The first drunk shouts, ‘Hit it again! It just bit me!’
Yo mamma so ugly when she was walking to the bank. They turned of the security cameras.
What is the most important use for cowhide? To hold the cow together.
Why did the blonde go to KFC? She heard she could get a pair of breasts for $1.99.
No! You don't have "Bad luck". You have low IQ and you make bad decisions.
A blonde takes her typewriter to the doctor. "Doc, I'm afraid my typewriter is pregnant." The doctor asks, "Why in the world would you think that?" She says, "Because it's started missing its period."
I got a tattoo of Chuck Norris on my own leg... now it won't stop roundhouse kicking me in the face.
Why did Bossy tell the cowpoke to leave her calf alone? She thought children should be seen and not herded!
Will I ever be able to race my horse again the owner asked the vet. The vet replied, "You certainly will, and you ll probably beat her too!"