Yo mama's so fat that when she puts on a jumper it's known as global warming.
A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection.
They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap.
When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given additional leeway, the rabbit said that he, too, had been blind since birth.
The two animals then forgot about the collision and began commiserating concerning the problems of being blind.
The snake said that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity.
He had never been able to see his reflection in the water, and for that reason did not know exactly what he looked like, or even what he was.
The rabbit declared that he had the same problem.
Seeing a way that they could help each other, the rabbit proposed that one feel the other from head to toe, and then try to describe what the other animal was.
The snake agreed and started by winding himself around the rabbit.
After a few moments, he announced, "You've got very soft, fuzzy fur, long ears, big rear feet, and a little fuzzy ball for a tail. I think that you must be a bunny rabbit!"
The rabbit was much relieved to find his identity and proceeded to return the favor to the snake.
After feeling about the snake's body for a few minutes, he asserted, "Well, you're scaly, you're slimy, you've got beady little eyes, you squirm and slither all the time, and you've got a forked tongue. I think you're a lawyer!"
Your mama is so ugly she jumps and the gravity did not return.
A really bad impressionist walks into a bar.
The bartender says, "Why the wrong face?"
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Yo mama is so fat, when she's on an elevator, she has to go down!
Yo mamma is so fat when she went to the movie theater people said "Look at king Kong in 3D."
Sometimes I use really big words which I don't understand to make me seem more photosynthesis.
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I keep getting bills from the Memory Erasing Clinic but I've never been there.
Yo mama is so fat she doesn't need the internet.
She is already world-wide!
Daughter: "That's it! I'll mary Arthur!"
Mother: "But he is a lazy guy and heavy-drinker!"
Father: "But you have to start with something!"
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