Best jokes ever

Happy Father's Day to someone who knew long before me that all the boys I brought home were jerks.

What is the best type of ship? FRIENDSHIP!

A reporter asked Chris Rock who do you think would win the presidency? He said quickly Obama. When asked why, he replied, has anyone ran a race with a Kenyan and won?

At a poor-side of Athens, a kid were on the street and was playing. A cop who was crossing around that street, saw him and asked him: "What are you doing there kiddo?" "I’m playing..." "What are you playing?" "Oh, well... I collect sand, I pour some water in and I add then some poop and I’m making little weaklings!" "What kind of weaklings?" "Cops..." The cop, furious, slaps the kid and screams: "Get the hell away from here and run to your house! I never wanna see you wondering around here." For the next two days, the kid didn’t show up. The third day, the kid was on the same spot, playing. The cop, saw him again and approached the kid. "What are you doing there?" "I’m playing..." "What?" "Oh, well... I collect sand, then pour some water in and I’m making little weaklings." "Congratulations! enthusiastic said the cop. And what kind of weaklings you’re making there?" "Firefighters...!" "So, how come you’re not putting any poop on them as well?" "Cause, whenever I do, they come out cops...!"

Yo' Mama is so stupid, she jumped off a cliff and stopped for directions.

Yo mama is so fat she doesn't need the internet. She is already world-wide!

Yo mama is so fat, when she's on an elevator, she has to go down!

Yo mamma is so fat when she went to the movie theater people said "Look at king Kong in 3D."

Sometimes I use really big words which I don't understand to make me seem more photosynthesis.

I keep getting bills from the Memory Erasing Clinic but I've never been there.