Have you heard of the new Obama happy meal at Mcdonalds?
It comes with a promise that you'll get a toy someday.
A man enters a pet shop. He wants to buy live mice to feed his python. The man saw the cage with a parrot and begins to examine it. In this moment the parrot said,
"Your fly is undone."
The man blushed. He looked around if anyone sees him and closed his zipper. The parrot said again,
"Your pants have a slit back."
The man blushed still more and tried to cover his ass with a hand.
"Your shoelaces are untied", the parrot does not cease.
The man bent down to tie his shoelaces.
"Farted! ... You little fart", the parrot yelled.
The man died of shame and fled from the store. At this point the mice called from their cage and said,
"Coco, thanks you! You saved our lives again. You know, we'll make it up to you."
Husband: "Shall we try a different position tonight?"
Wife: "That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."
In some countries, criminals have the option of either going to jail or spending a day living with Chuck Norris.
No one has ever chosen Chuck Norris
Vote:
Chuck Norris never has a deja vu.
No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.
Vote:
I'm not racist, some of my best slaves are black.
Vote:
Yo mommas so black that when she walked outside the street lights turned on.
Vote:
[ancient greece]
Teacher: "What have you all chosen for your thesis?"
Hippocrates: "I'm laying the ground work for centuries of modern medicine."
Socrates: "I am examining what it means to be."
Ptolemy: "Uh you guys ever uh notice how those stars look like a bear?"
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
Harry is very quick with the ladies, before they can tell him they’re not that sort of girl, it’s usually too late.