Harry is very quick with the ladies, before they can tell him they’re not that sort of girl, it’s usually too late.
Q: What was the one thing Hitler did well?
A: Kill himself.
"Knock, knock.Who's there?"
very long pause...
"Java."
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Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing.
"Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols."
"Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?"
Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"
Q: Why did the gay guy think his lover was cheating on him?
A: He came home shit faced.
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Question: What should a man do if his wife runs into the room during a baseball match and keeps disturbing you?
Answer: Shorten the chain.
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Chuck Norris once stared death in the face...
Death pissed his pants.
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Wife:"I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"
Husband:"You have perfect eyesight."
Q: Why did they invent white chocolate?
A: So all black kids could get their faces messy too.
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Chuck Norris does not play the lottery.
It doesn't have nearly enough balls.
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