Best jokes ever

Have you heard of the new Obama happy meal at Mcdonalds? It comes with a promise that you'll get a toy someday.
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has 59.74 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: food, life, political
A man enters a pet shop. He wants to buy live mice to feed his python. The man saw the cage with a parrot and begins to examine it. In this moment the parrot said, "Your fly is undone." The man blushed. He looked around if anyone sees him and closed his zipper. The parrot said again, "Your pants have a slit back." The man blushed still more and tried to cover his ass with a hand. "Your shoelaces are untied", the parrot does not cease. The man bent down to tie his shoelaces. "Farted! ... You little fart", the parrot yelled. The man died of shame and fled from the store. At this point the mice called from their cage and said, "Coco, thanks you! You saved our lives again. You know, we'll make it up to you."
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has 59.71 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, fart, parrot
Husband: "Shall we try a different position tonight?" Wife: "That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa and fart."
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has 59.71 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: communication, fart, marriage, mean, sex
In some countries, criminals have the option of either going to jail or spending a day living with Chuck Norris. No one has ever chosen Chuck Norris
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has 59.71 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, prison
Chuck Norris never has a deja vu. No scene would be that stupid to appear in front of the man twice.
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has 59.69 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, stupid
I'm not racist, some of my best slaves are black.
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has 59.69 % from 113 votes. More jokes about: black people, racist
Yo mommas so black that when she walked outside the street lights turned on.
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has 59.66 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: black people, insulting, Yo mama
[ancient greece] Teacher: "What have you all chosen for your thesis?" Hippocrates: "I'm laying the ground work for centuries of modern medicine." Socrates: "I am examining what it means to be." Ptolemy: "Uh you guys ever uh notice how those stars look like a bear?"
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has 59.66 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: history, teacher
What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"
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has 59.66 % from 77 votes. More jokes about: dirty, sex
Harry is very quick with the ladies, before they can tell him they’re not that sort of girl, it’s usually too late.
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has 59.63 % from 140 votes. More jokes about: sex
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