Best jokes ever

Chuck Norris once wrestled a thirty foot snake, and then he realized he was just masturbating.
has 59.35 % from 300 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, dirty, masturbation
Theres this girl,she is five. She goes spying on her big sister and she hears her cussing out her boyfriend and she says,"you mother fucking asshole!" Just then jill, thats the little girl,interrupts them talking and blurts out, "Big Sis,what does asshole mean? The girl surprised by the question,says BOYFRIEND! Okay , so the girl runs off onto the bathroom. Jill sneaks up on her dad while he was shaving and says boo! THE dad says "Shit!" So the girl ask her dad "What does shit mean?" And he stammers "Shaving cream". So she said okay and went about her day. Jill then runs into her mom, who was in the kitchen cutting the turkey. Her mom is startled when Jill comes in, cuts her hand, and says "Fuck!". So Jill ask "What does fuck mean momma?" And scramblimg for an answer, her mom says "cutting." All of the sudden, they hear the door. Jill answers and sees her Dads boss at the door. He ask "Sweetie, do you know where you everyone is at?" And she says, "Well, my sister’s talking to her asshole, my Moms fucking the turkey and my Dads wiping the shit off his face."
has 59.35 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Two men are having a drink together. One says, ‘I had sex with my wife before we were married. What about you?’ ‘I don’t know,’ says the other. ‘What was her maiden name?’
has 59.35 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: sex
Q: What do you call a Chinese person with a video camera? A: Phil Ming
has 59.31 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: asian
Knock, Knock! Who's there? D umbbell. Dumbbell who? Dumbbell doesn't work so I had to knock!
has 59.31 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: knock-knock
An Australian Combat Field Engineer Sergeant and a U.S Marine were on exchange duty and were sharing the latrines. The Aussie Sergeant finished first and walked out without washing his hands. The U.S Marine watched in disgust, finished his squirt, washed his hands and walked up to the Aussie Sergeant and said. In the U.S Marine Corps we were taught to wash our hands after a leak”. The rather large Aussie Sergeant replied, ” In the Australian Army mate, we were taught not to piss on our hands …! ”
has 59.31 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: military
Resolving to surprise her husband, an executive's wife stopped by his office. When she opened the door, she found him with his secretary sitting in his lap. Without hesitating, he dictated, "...and in conclusion, gentlemen, budget cuts or no budget cuts, I cannot continue to operate this office with just one chair."
has 59.31 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: dirty
Yo mama so ugly she made santa say ho ho ho.
has 59.31 % from 51 votes. More jokes about: Santa, ugly, Yo mama
Chuck Norris can sit in the an open field.
has 59.29 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris
Chuck Norris adds Facebook as a friend.
has 59.28 % from 90 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, Facebook
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