Once upon time, there were three friends playing on a beach. One kid's parents were good business people. The second kid lives in a good family where he is taught to respect his elders. The third kid was a poor redneck with an abusive father. Anyways, they were playing on the beach when a helicopter crashed down into the water. They saw a man drowning and all raced to save him. As they pulled the man to shore they realized it was Obama. The president then said, "Thank you kids for saving me! I'll give you each one wish!" The first kid said he wanted a helicopter. The second kid wished for some money. And the redneck asked for a wheel chair. Obama, concerned, asked why the poor boy wouldn't want some money for his family. The kid replied, "Cause when pap finds out what I've done, I ain't gonna be walking for a pretty long time."
You mama so old she made yoda look young.
How are women and linoleum floors alike? You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.
Yo Momma is so old that her bus pass is in hieroglyphics!
Yo momma's so old if she were a car it would be time to roll back her odometer.
A three year old little boy was examining his testicles while he was bathing. "Mom", he asked, "is that my brain?" "Not yet", she answered.
Yo' Mama is so old, she dreams in black and white.
Yo mama so old she used a walker when Jesus was born.
Yo mama's so old her breast milk is powdered.
Messing with Chuck Norris is the only thing that will get you disqualified from a Colonial Penn Life Insurance policy - at any age.