The best age jokes

There was an old married couple who love each other very much. But each morning as he was waking up the husband let out a huge nasty wet fart with his wife right in the bed next to him. The wife always says "One day you're going to fart your guts out if you don't stop." Then one day the wife snapped she won't take it anymore and she got up extra early when downstairs and got the guts out of a turkey and put it in the bed behind. She went back downstairs to wait and then she heard the loud disgusting fart all the way down the stairs and then she hears nothing for a long while. Just as she's about to go upstairs and check on her husband he comes stomping down the steps and he says "Honey you were right after I get my guts out but with the grace of God and these two fingers I managed to shove them back up there again."
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More jokes about: age, disgusting, fart, life, marriage
4-year-old: Why are you my dad? Me: Because I made you. 4: How? Me: ... 4: O.o Me: ... 4: O.O Me: With Legos.
Vote: has 64.76 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, dad, kids
Yo mama so old she used a walker when Jesus was born.
Vote: has 64.46 % from 69 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, god, insulting, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so old, she dreams in black and white.
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Yo mama is so old in her time Burger King was know as Burger Prince.
Vote: has 64.05 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, food, Yo mama
Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop? A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, disgusting, women
You mama so old she made yoda look young.
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, Yo mama
COP: "When I saw you driving down the road, I guessed 55 at least." LADY: "You're wrong, officer, it's only my hat that makes me look that old.”
Vote: has 63.00 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, cop, driving
Police arrested Joe Bloggs, a 27-year old white male and resident of Wimbledon UK, in a pumpkin patch at 11:38pm Friday. Bloggs will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the County courthouse on Monday. The suspect allegedly stated that after a night of drinking, as he was passing a pumpkin patch, he decided to stop. "You know, a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around here for miles. At least I thought there wasn't," he stated in a phone interview from the County courthouse jail. Bloggs went on to state that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purposes, poked a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged "need." "I guess I was just really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment. In the process, Bloggs apparently failed to notice the Wimbledon Municipal police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until Officer B.T. approached him. "It was an unusual situation, that's for sure." said Officer BT. "I walked up to (Bloggs) and he's...just working away at this pumpkin". BT went on to describe what happened when she approached Bloggs: "I just went up and said, 'Excuse me, sir, but do you realize that you are screwing a pumpkin?' He got real surprised as you'd expect and then looked me straight in the face and said, 'A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?'"
Vote: has 62.88 % from 72 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, cop, dirty, sport, time
A woman, on meeting a psychologist at a party, made a pitch for some free professional advice. "What kind of toy would you suggest giving a little boy on his third birthday?" she asked. "First I’d have to know more about the child," the psychologist hedged. The woman took a deep breath. "He’s very bright and quick-witted and exceptionally advanced for his age," she said. "He has good coordination, expresses himself very well…" "Oh, I see," the psychologist said, "It’s YOUR child!"
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, birthday, kids