Q. How do you know when you are getting old? A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
Yo mama so old, I told her to act her own age and she died.
Yo' Mama is so old, she dreams in black and white.
Yo mama is so old she was electrocuted with steam.
Yo Momma soooo old she was wearing a Jesus starter jacket!
My yoga instructor says I need to work on my breathing. But I mean, 41 years, still alive. I kinda got it.
Should women have children after 35? "No, 35 children are enough!"
Yo mama so old she used a walker when Jesus was born.
Yo momma is so old, they use strands of her hair to carbon date dinosaur fossils.
Once upon time, there were three friends playing on a beach. One kid's parents were good business people. The second kid lives in a good family where he is taught to respect his elders. The third kid was a poor redneck with an abusive father. Anyways, they were playing on the beach when a helicopter crashed down into the water. They saw a man drowning and all raced to save him. As they pulled the man to shore they realized it was Obama. The president then said, "Thank you kids for saving me! I'll give you each one wish!" The first kid said he wanted a helicopter. The second kid wished for some money. And the redneck asked for a wheel chair. Obama, concerned, asked why the poor boy wouldn't want some money for his family. The kid replied, "Cause when pap finds out what I've done, I ain't gonna be walking for a pretty long time."