Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago. The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris.
An advertisement: I change 40-year-old wife to two 20-years-old ones. Do not offer four 10-year-old ones.
For his surprise 50th birthday party, Chuck Norris turned up early. No one surprises Chuck Norris.
You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school.
When we moved to the US I was 8 years old. I remember asking my father if I can have an allowance? When he asked me what that was, I said you're allowed to give me money.
Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate? A: Miracle Whip.
Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
My kid and I were in a very crowded public restroom at a sporting arena, after looking to the man using the urinal to his right, my 6 year old son turns to address me on his left and exclaims, "Daddy, that man's wiener is a lot bigger than yours!" The whole bathroom heard and looked immediately at me. So I put my hand around my kid and told him "Well son, that's because daddy isn't aroused by men."
Mum,can i dress a bra? No. Why not.I am 14 years old! How many times I will say you "no", Michael...
Q: What's the similarity between a woman and dog poop? A: The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.