A tight rope Walker is walking a tight rope between two buildings on the 85th floor in new York. At the same time in South Texas is getting a blow job from a 85 year old lady. What are both men thinking? Don't look down.
Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
My wife's face is green. The room is now pink. I think she yelled at me, "That's your 21st drink!"
When Chuck Norris was 8 years old he got into a pillow fight with his older brother, that's why he's now an only child.
Yo mama so old she used a walker when Jesus was born.
Yo mama is so old in her time Burger King was know as Burger Prince.
How are women and linoleum floors alike? You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.
This woman walks into a bar, and she has the hairiest armpits in the history of armpits. She sits down, raises her arm, and says, "Bartender, I would like a drink." There's an old drunk sitting next to her. Slurring, he says, "Barkeep, I would like to buy the ballerina a drink." She accepts, drinks it, raises her arm again to get the bartender's attention, and orders another. The old man says, "Barkeep, you just keep giving the ballerina anything she wants." Finally, the bartender goes over to the drunk and says, "Sir, that's nice of you, but how do you know she's a ballerina?" The old man answers, "Son, you don't get to be my age without learning that only ballerinas can lift their legs that high."
Yo mama told me that she had some wrinkles in her feet ; I suggested to wear stocking. She said : "Woo it is 50 years that I am wearing pants the chink of her ass hadn't been recovery!"
Yo momma is so old, they use strands of her hair to carbon date dinosaur fossils.