Two old drunks in a bar.
The first one says,
"Ya know, when I was 30 and got a hard-on, I couldn't bend it with either of my hands.
By the time I was 40, I could bend it about 10 degrees if I tried really hard.
"By the time I was 50, I could bend it about 20 degrees, no problem.
I'm gonna be 60 next week, and now I can almost bend it in half with just one hand"
"So," says the second drunk, "what's your point?"
"Well," says the first, "I'm just wondering how much stronger I'm gonna get!"
You know you're getting old when Santa starts looking younger.
An old seamstress is slowly walking back to her job from lunch, when a flasher jumps out of an alley and opens his coat wide.
The old woman looks him up and down, shakes her head sadly, and says "You call that a lining?"
Vote:
When we moved to the US I was 8 years old.
I remember asking my father if I can have an allowance?
When he asked me what that was, I said you're allowed to give me money.
Your mama so old she sat next to Moses in the second grade.
Yo mama so old she ran track with the dinosaurs.
Yo mama so old her drivers license in hieroglyphics.
How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group?
Look for gray hares.
In the late 80's When Michael Jackson first met Chuck Norris he turned white.
Vote:
Q. How do you know when you are getting old?
A. When you start having dry dreams and wet farts.