The best age jokes

A 5 year old and a 3 year old are upstairs in their bedroom "You know what?" says the 5 year old, "I think it's about time we started swearing." The 3 year old nods his head in approval, so the 5 year old says, "When we go downstairs for breakfast I'm gonna swear first, then you swear after me, ok?" "Ok" the 3 year old, agrees with enthusiasm. The mother walks into the kitchen and asks the 5 year old what he wants for breakfast. "Shit mum, I don't know, I suppose I'll have some Fruit Loops." (WHACK...she spanks him) He flew out of his chair, tumbled across the kitchen floor, got up, and ran upstairs crying his eyes out. She looked at the 3 year old and asked with a stern voice, "And what do YOU want for breakfast, young man?" "I don't know mum, but it won't be fucking Fruit Loops."
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: age, food, kids
Your mama so old she sat next to Moses in the second grade.
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has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: age, religious, school, Yo mama
Yo mama so old she had a wedding picture with George Washington.
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has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: age, political, time, wedding, Yo mama
In the late 80's When Michael Jackson first met Chuck Norris he turned white.
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has 61.44 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris, music
The aged patient doddered into the doctor’s office with a serious complaint. "Doc, you’ve got to do something to lower my sex drive." "Come on now Mr Peters," the doctor said, "your sex drives all in your head." "Thats what I mean, you’ve got to lower it a little."
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has 61.36 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: age, doctor, sex
Joe loved golf, but his eyesight had gotten so bad, that he couldn't find his ball once he'd hit it. He consulted with his wife, and she recommended that Joe bring along her uncle Ted. Joe said, "But Ted is 80 years old and half senile!" His wife replied, "Yes, but his eyesight is incredible." Joe finally agreed and took Ted along. He teed off and could feel that he had hit it solidly. He asked Ted, "Do you see it?" Ted nodded his head and said, "Boy, that was a beautiful shot!" Joe excitedly asked, "Well, where did it land?!" Ted said, "Hmmm. I forget."
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: age, golf, sport, wife
How are women and linoleum floors alike? You lay them right the first time and you can walk all over them for the next 20 years.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: age, time, women
Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate? A: Miracle Whip.
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has 61.09 % from 154 votes. More jokes about: age, masturbation, sex
Yo mama so old her drivers license in hieroglyphics.
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has 60.65 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: age, car, insulting, Yo mama
Your mama so old she was friends with Cleopatra.
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has 60.65 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: age, friendship, Yo mama
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