Yo mama is so old that God doesn't remember her.
Yo momma is so old that her first Christmas was the first Christmas.
The aged patient doddered into the doctor’s office with a serious complaint.
"Doc, you’ve got to do something to lower my sex drive."
"Come on now Mr Peters," the doctor said, "your sex drives all in your head."
"Thats what I mean, you’ve got to lower it a little."
A couple of senior couples were strolling along, wives in front, husbands in back chatting.
Bernie turns to Marv and says, "Ya know, we went to a new restaurant last night and had the best meal ever. Great prices, too."
Marv smiles and says, "Well, we like to eat out too. So what was the name of this fine new eatery?"
Bernie says, "You’re going to have to help me out here a little. What’s the name of that pretty flower, smells sweet, often red, grows on a thorny bush?"
Marv grins again, "Well now, Bernie, sounds like a rose to me…"
"Yes, yes, that’s it!" cries Bernie, then he calls ahead to his wife: "Rose! Rose, honey, what was the name of that little restaurant we ate at last night?"
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When Chuck Norris was 12 years old, he mauled a pit bull.
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Q: What do you call a ninety year old man who can still masturbate?
A: Miracle Whip.
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Your mama so old she was friends with Cleopatra.
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Yo Momma is so old that her bus pass is in hieroglyphics!
My 3-year-old granddaughter, Sydney, told my husband, Ted, and me that she was going fishing with her dad.
Ted asked if she was going to use worms.
"No," she said. "I'm going to use a fishing pole."
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How can you tell which rabbits are the oldest in a group?
Look for gray hares.