The best age jokes

Andrew went to Medical Insurance to apply for his pension. The woman behind the bench asked for his driving license to verify his age, but he had left his wallet home. He said to her that he had to go home and return later. The woman said: "Unbuckle your shirt." And so he did, revealing his curly, gray hair of his chest. "These gray hair is quite a nice proof for me," she said and continued with his application form. When Andrew went home, he said to his wife what had happened. "You should have taken your pants off," she said, "Maybe you would have taken disability pension too!"
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has 52.46 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: age, marriage, money, wife, women
This 12 year old boy was in bed when he heard his mother moaning. He decided that he'd go see whats wrong with her. When he looked in his mothers room he saw that she was laying on her bed naked and rubbing herself and saying"I need a man, I need a man" So this quite a few times and then one night he heard his mother again, but this time her moaning sounded different, so he went to go check it out, this time instead of seeing his mother alone, he sees his mother in bed with a man. So the boy runs back to his room, strips all his clothes off, jumps on the bed and starts rubbing himself while saying "I need a bike, I need a bike"!!!!!
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has 52.29 % from 178 votes. More jokes about: age, masturbation, sex
A woman was standing naked, looking herself at the mirror. She was not satisfied with what she was looking at and said to her husband: "I feel awful. I look old, fat, and ugly. I really need a compliment right now." Her husband replied: "Your vision is perfectly nice!" ...and then the fight started.
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has 52.24 % from 189 votes. More jokes about: age, fat, husband, marriage
When Chuck Norris is as old as dirt, he will be the salt of the earth.
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris
This eighty year old couple were celebrating their 60th anniversary and the wife says to her husband, " Honey lets get stark naked and sit at the dinning table and eat our dinner!" As they sat at the dinning table the wife says, "Honey I am beginning to get very hot and very aroused!" The husband says, " That is because you have your tits in the soup!"
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has 52.06 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: age, anniversary, marriage, old people, wife
May 6th, 1945: A then five-year old Chuck Norris swam the Atlantic Ocean. The next day, the Nazis surrendered...
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris, time, travel
A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and was rushed to the hospital. After about thirty minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation attempts the old lady was pronounced dead. The doctor went to tell the lady's 78-year old daughter (who wasn't blonde any longer, but just had to be at one time) that her mother didn't make it. "Didn't make it? Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-five minutes ago!" the former blonde asked.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: age, blonde, death, health, hospital
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?" "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." "That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?' "Twenty-six," he said.
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: age, alcohol, life, old people
Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
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has 51.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris, math, science
The boss snubs his employee because he took a flashlight with him to a date: "What kind of crap happens nowadays? When I was in your age, I wasn’t carrying any flashlight with me on a date. I was always meeting my girlfriends in the dark." "And what did that got you... Take a look at what you’ve married in to!"
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: age, dating, marriage
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