Your mama so old she still owes Jesus five bucks.
Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
The boss snubs his employee because he took a flashlight with him to a date: "What kind of crap happens nowadays? When I was in your age, I wasn’t carrying any flashlight with me on a date. I was always meeting my girlfriends in the dark." "And what did that got you... Take a look at what you’ve married in to!"
Men are like......Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
For his surprise 50th birthday party, Chuck Norris turned up early. No one surprises Chuck Norris.
A wife to her husband as they watch their young son playing: "He's such a sensitive child. Let's wait until he's older before we tell him you're an accountant."
A woman walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?" "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." "That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?' "Twenty-six," he said.
A man with pain on his right knee consulted his doctor. Doctor said: "It is nothing to worry about. It is due to old age." Patient: "The left knee is of the same age. But how is it that leg does not pain?"
When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored And decided to carve a sculpture with only his Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called.... Mount Rushmore.