The best age jokes

The boss snubs his employee because he took a flashlight with him to a date: "What kind of crap happens nowadays? When I was in your age, I wasn’t carrying any flashlight with me on a date. I was always meeting my girlfriends in the dark." "And what did that got you... Take a look at what you’ve married in to!"
Vote: has 49.79 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, dating, marriage
When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored And decided to carve a sculpture with only his Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called.... Mount Rushmore.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, baby, Chuck Norris
An 80-year-old man tells his wife, "I'm going to the doctor to get me some of those new Viagra pills." His wife gets her coat on and says, "I'm going to the doctor, too. If you're going to start using that rusty old thing again, I'm getting a tetanus shot."
Vote: has 49.36 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, doctor, marriage, viagra, wife
Yo mama so old her social security number is 3!
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, insulting, Yo mama
YO momma is so old, I slit her throat and dust came out!
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, insulting, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so old, she has sour cream in her boobs.
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, Yo mama
Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. “What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?” “Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”
Vote: has 46.70 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, health, money, old people, wife
Willow Smith is 11 and has a tongue ring, half her head shaved and is bisexual. She needs to go live with her Aunty and Uncle in Bel-Air.
Vote: has 46.70 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, celebrity, kids, life
A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. But, to his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was standing. St. Peter greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line into a comfortable chair by his desk. The lawyer said, “I don’t mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?” St. Peter replied, “Well, I’ve added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!”
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, heaven, lawyer, work
One Sunday afternoon an older couple was listening to a holy station on the radio. They were about 98 years old and so frail, they couldn't walk to church. The preacher said, ''If you put one hand on the radio and one hand on whatever you want healed I will heal it for you.'' So the old woman put one hand on the radio and one hand on her heart. The old man tried to not let the old woman see but he put one hand on the radio and one hand on his penis. The old woman looked over and said, ''He said he could heal, not raise the dead!''
Vote: has 44.51 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, church, music, old people