4-year-old: Why are you my dad? Me: Because I made you. 4: How? Me: ... 4: O.o Me: ... 4: O.O Me: With Legos.
For his surprise 50th birthday party, Chuck Norris turned up early. No one surprises Chuck Norris.
Chuck Norris was born Sept. 1 1945. World War 2 ended Sept. 2 1945. What a coincidence.
Men are like......Bananas. The older they get, the less firm they are
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
Yo momma is so old that her titties sag all the way to hell!
When Chuck Norris was 8 years old he got into a pillow fight with his older brother, that's why he's now an only child.
Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. “What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?” “Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”
When Chuck Norris was 12 years old, he mauled a pit bull.
You are so old, you fart dust.