4-year-old: Why are you my dad? Me: Because I made you. 4: How? Me: ... 4: O.o Me: ... 4: O.O Me: With Legos.
When Chuck Norris was 8 years old he got into a pillow fight with his older brother, that's why he's now an only child.
Chuck Norris is not 70 years old. At age 60, he began getting younger. This is why he is actually only 50.
Chuck Norris was born Sept. 1 1945. World War 2 ended Sept. 2 1945. What a coincidence.
A beautiful woman in her thirties was passing through customs in London, when the customs official asks her what the reason for her trip to London was. Business or pleasure, he asks? Sadness and pleasure! She says to the officer! Why? Well, my 75 years old husband has just died and I came to his funeral! My condolences, says the officer! It must be a very difficult and painful time you're going through! Not really, this is my pleasure! I'm so sad because only now I found out that he was dead broke and did not leave a dime, a penny, not even a will for me!
The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
Yo momma is so old that her titties sag all the way to hell!
You are so old, you fart dust.
Q. Which famous celebrity has had the most children over the last 10 years? A. Michael Jackson
John: How old are you? Peter: Hmmm..I'm 7 John: You know what, when I was your age, I was also 7.