The best age jokes

A single woman who retired just a few months back walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch in her neighborhood. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?" "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." "That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?' "Twenty-six," he said.
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: age, alcohol, life, old people, women
Q: What does an old woman have that a young woman doesn't? A: A belly button between her boobs.
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has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: age, disgusting, old people
Three grandsons of ex Army Men were boasting about their grandfathers. "My great grandfather," one declared proudly, "made the army proud by joining the army at the age of 12." "Mine," boasts another, "got 12 bravery medals." "He was the only soldier in my family," confessed the third one, "but if my great grandfather was living today he'd be the most famous man in the world." "Really? What'd he do?" his friends wanted to know. "Nothing much. But he would be 152 years old."
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: age, family, military
YO momma is so old, I slit her throat and dust came out!
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: age, insulting, Yo mama
Q: What’s so good in f***ing twenty six year olds? A: That they are twenty…
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has 42.34 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: age, sex
Three mischievous old Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home. When an old Grandpa walked by. And one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, “We bet we can tell exactly how old you are.” The old man said, “There is no way you can guess it, you old fools.” One of the old Grandmas said, “Sure we can! Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age.” Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn’t do it, he dropped his drawers. The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times. Then they all piped up and said, “You’re 87 years old!” Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, “How in the world did you guess?” Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, the three old ladies happily yelled in unison… “We were at your birthday party yesterday!”
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has 42.25 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: age, birthday, old people, party
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
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has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, kids, lawyer
Your mama so old she still owes Jesus five bucks.
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has 41.89 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: age, christian, money, old people, Yo mama
Willow Smith is 11 and has a tongue ring, half her head shaved and is bisexual. She needs to go live with her Aunty and Uncle in Bel-Air.
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has 41.85 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: age, celebrity, kids, life
Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago. The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris.
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has 41.85 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris, death
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