The best age jokes

One Sunday afternoon an older couple was listening to a holy station on the radio. They were about 98 years old and so frail, they couldn't walk to church. The preacher said, ''If you put one hand on the radio and one hand on whatever you want healed I will heal it for you.'' So the old woman put one hand on the radio and one hand on her heart. The old man tried to not let the old woman see but he put one hand on the radio and one hand on his penis. The old woman looked over and said, ''He said he could heal, not raise the dead!''
Vote: has 44.51 % from 66 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, church, music, old people
Q: What’s so good in f***ing twenty six year olds? A: That they are twenty…
Vote: has 42.98 % from 64 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, sex
A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. But, to his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was standing. St. Peter greeted him warmly. Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line into a comfortable chair by his desk. The lawyer said, “I don’t mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?” St. Peter replied, “Well, I’ve added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!”
Vote: has 42.61 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, heaven, lawyer, work
A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, it's because you're blonde," her mother replied. The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde." The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. "Very good," said her embarrassed mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?" "No, it's because you're 25."
Vote: has 41.94 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, blonde, math, school
When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored And decided to carve a sculpture with only his Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called.... Mount Rushmore
Vote: has 41.84 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris
Yo momma's so old she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said Lil Mary will never amount to anything.
Vote: has 41.82 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, dirty, time, Yo mama
Did you hear about the 9 year old African nigglet? He was going through a mid-life crisis.
Vote: has 41.62 % from 51 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, black people
Q: What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common? A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, animal
A 5 year old black boy walks up to a 5 year old white boy and says, "My daddy's goy a car. When he honks the horn it goes 'honkey honkey'". Little white boy says, "shit, my daddys got a chain saw when he starts it up it goes 'run nigga nigga run'".
Vote: has 40.79 % from 116 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, car, dad, kids, racist
Q: What's the best part about sex with 28-year-olds? A: There are twenty of them.
Vote: has 40.53 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, black humor, sex


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