Willow Smith is 11 and has a tongue ring, half her head shaved and is bisexual. She needs to go live with her Aunty and Uncle in Bel-Air.
Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day. "My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
Q: What does an old woman have that a young woman doesn't? A: A belly button between her boobs.
You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school.
Q: What do you call a 80 year old black guy? A: Antique farm equipment.
Q: What’s so good in f***ing twenty six year olds? A: That they are twenty…
Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago. The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris.
At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.
A married couple in their 60's are visited by a fairy who grants them both a wish. "I want to travel around the world with my darling husband", says the wife ...2 tickets for a luxury cruise magically appear in her hand ! Husband says "sorry love, my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me ..." So the fairy waves her wand and the husband becomes 92 !
A son and the dad are walking around on the streets. The dad stops the son and says, "Son, if you don't stop masturbating, you are going to go blind." The son says, "Dad! I'm over here!"