YO momma is so old, I slit her throat and dust came out!
Three mischievous old Grannies were sitting on a bench outside a nursing home.
When an old Grandpa walked by.
And one of the old Grandmas yelled out saying, “We bet we can tell exactly how old you are.”
The old man said, “There is no way you can guess it, you old fools.”
One of the old Grandmas said, “Sure we can!
Just drop your pants and under shorts and we can tell your exact age.”
Embarrassed just a little, but anxious to prove they couldn’t do it, he dropped his drawers.
The Grandmas asked him to first turn around a couple of times and to jump up and down several times.
Then they all piped up and said, “You’re 87 years old!”
Standing with his pants down around his ankles, the old gent asked, “How in the world did you guess?”
Slapping their knees and grinning from ear to ear, the three old ladies happily yelled in unison…
“We were at your birthday party yesterday!”
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Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.
"My name is Billy.
What's yours?" asked the first boy.
"Tommy," replied the second.
"My Daddy's an accountant.
What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy.
Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer."
"Honest?" asked Billy.
"No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.
Your mama so old she still owes Jesus five bucks.
Willow Smith is 11 and has a tongue ring, half her head shaved and is bisexual.
She needs to go live with her Aunty and Uncle in Bel-Air.
Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago.
The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris.
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Q: What does an old woman have that a young woman doesn't?
A: A belly button between her boobs.
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At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.
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A young woman for whom a marriage with an old man was being arranged by her parents refused to go through with the ceremony because as she put it, " I don't want to feel old age creeping on me!"
Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
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