The best age jokes

Q: What did the baby owl's parents say when he wanted to go to a party? A: "You're not owld enough."
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: age, baby, bird, communication, party
An old Jewish beggar was out on the street, begging with his tin cup. A man passed by and the beggar said to the man, "Sir, could you spare 3 cents for a cup of coffee?" And the man said, "Where do get coffee for 3 cents?" And the beggar said, "Who buys retail?"
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has 45.35 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: age, jewish, money
A number twelve walks into a bar and asks the barman for a pint of beer. "Sorry I cant serve you," states the barman. "Why not?!" asks the number twelve with anger showing in its voice. "Youre under 18," replies the barman.
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: age, alcohol, bar, bartender, beer
Q: What's the difference between racist jokes and kids with cancer? A: They never get old.
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has 45.25 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: age, black people, kids, racist
Chuck Norris grew a beard at the age of eighteen. Twice.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: age, Chuck Norris
An advertisement: I change 40-year-old wife to two 20-years-old ones. Do not offer four 10-year-old ones.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: age, men, wife
A girl came skipping home from school one day. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were counting today, and all the other kids could only count to four, but I counted to 10. See? 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6,7, 8, 9, 10!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, it's because you're blonde," her mother replied. The next day, the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were saying the alphabet today, and all the other kids could only say it to D, but I said it to G. See? A, B, C, D, E, F, G!" "Very good," said her mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, Mommy?" "Yes, pumpkin, it's because you're blonde." The next day the girl came skipping home from school. "Mommy, Mommy," she yelled, "we were in gym class today, and when we showered, all the other girls had flat chests, but I have these!" And she lifted her tank top to reveal a pair of 36Cs. "Very good," said her embarrassed mother. "Is it because I'm blonde, mommy?" "No, it's because you're 25."
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has 44.74 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: age, blonde, math, school
A son and the dad are walking around on the streets. The dad stops the son and says, "Son, if you don't stop masturbating, you are going to go blind." The son says, "Dad! I'm over here!"
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has 44.74 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, kids, life, masturbation
A single woman who retired just a few months back walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch in her neighborhood. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said. "What's your secret for a long happy life?" "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said. "I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." "That's amazing," the woman said. "How old are you?' "Twenty-six," he said.
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: age, alcohol, life, old people, women
Three grandsons of ex Army Men were boasting about their grandfathers. "My great grandfather," one declared proudly, "made the army proud by joining the army at the age of 12." "Mine," boasts another, "got 12 bravery medals." "He was the only soldier in my family," confessed the third one, "but if my great grandfather was living today he'd be the most famous man in the world." "Really? What'd he do?" his friends wanted to know. "Nothing much. But he would be 152 years old."
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has 43.61 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: age, family, military
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