A married couple in their 60's are visited by a fairy who grants them both a wish.
"I want to travel around the world with my darling husband", says the wife
...2 tickets for a luxury cruise magically appear in her hand !
Husband says "sorry love, my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me ..."
So the fairy waves her wand and the husband becomes 92 !
Q: What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common?
A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
Q: Do you know why women over fifty don't have babies?
A: They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
Vote:
When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored
And decided to carve a sculpture with only his
Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called....
Mount Rushmore.
Vote:
A single woman who retired just a few months back walked up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his porch in her neighborhood.
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said.
"What's your secret for a long happy life?"
"I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said.
"I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise."
"That's amazing," the woman said.
"How old are you?'
"Twenty-six," he said.
Yo mama is so old that she's mentioned in the shout out at the end of the bible.
Your mama so old she still owes Jesus five bucks.
When Chuck Norris is as old as dirt, he will be the salt of the earth.
Vote:
A crocodile has 2 eyes and 80 teeth.
Question:
What has 80 eyes and 2 teeth?
Answer:
A full bus of old men.
Vote: