Chuck Norris actually died 10 years ago. The grim reaper just hasn't summed up enough courage to face Chuck Norris.
Q: What do you call a 80 year old black guy? A: Antique farm equipment.
At the age of 17, Chuck Norris was fired from his job in a car factory because he roundhouse-kicked a car in half.
A married couple in their 60's are visited by a fairy who grants them both a wish. "I want to travel around the world with my darling husband", says the wife ...2 tickets for a luxury cruise magically appear in her hand ! Husband says "sorry love, my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me ..." So the fairy waves her wand and the husband becomes 92 !
You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school.
A man goes to the doctor and says "I need birth control for my 10 year old daughter" The doctor replies "She's 10 years old and sexually active?" The man says" Active? Hell no! Most of the time se just lies there and cries."
Yo momma's so old she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said Lil Mary will never amount to anything.
Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
Yo mama is so old that she's mentioned in the shout out at the end of the bible.
When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored And decided to carve a sculpture with only his Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called.... Mount Rushmore.