Scientists don't bother to calculate how many years old the planet earth is, they just say it's one Chuck old.
Vote:
Q: What’s so good in f***ing twenty six year olds?
A: That they are twenty…
Q: What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common?
A: The older they get the easier they are to pick up.
A man goes to the doctor and says "I need birth control for my 10 year old daughter"
The doctor replies "She's 10 years old and sexually active?"
The man says" Active? Hell no! Most of the time se just lies there and cries."
Vote:
A married couple in their 60's are visited by a fairy who grants them both a wish.
"I want to travel around the world with my darling husband", says the wife
...2 tickets for a luxury cruise magically appear in her hand !
Husband says "sorry love, my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me ..."
So the fairy waves her wand and the husband becomes 92 !
You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school.
Q: What do you call a 80 year old black guy?
A: Antique farm equipment.
Vote:
Yo momma's so old she knew the Virgin Mary when she was 10 and said Lil Mary will never amount to anything.
When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored
And decided to carve a sculpture with only his
Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called....
Mount Rushmore.
Vote:
What's the difference between an old cat and a baby kitten?
An old cat scratches and bites but a little pussy never hurt anybody!