The best alcohol jokes

One cure for a cold consists of three shots of whisky. There are better remedies, but most people don’t want to hear them.
Vote:
has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
A gent is sitting alone at the bar in Caesers Palace. A Jewish hooker comes over to him and asks him if he would like some company. "How much, honey?" "$800." "800???" "Are you crazy? Every other woman that came over wanted $400!" The Jewish hooker thought about it for a second and then replied, "Ok, I’ll do it for $400, but I want you to know I’m not making anything on it!"
Vote:
has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Don't type "Chuck Norris" on Monster Milktruck, your milk will turn into beer.
Vote:
has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, beer, Chuck Norris
Warning: Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at 4 in the morning.
Vote:
has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
A man goes into a pub and says, ‘I’d like something tall, icy and full of gin.’ The barman turns and shouts into the kitchen, ‘Oi, Doris! Someone to see you!’
Vote:
has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
Good advice for cocktail parties: If you can’t say something nice about someone, just hold your drink and listen to others who can’t either.
Vote:
has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
There was a man who had at least four to five drinks of whisky every day of his adult life. When he died, they cremated him, and it took two days to put out the fire!
Vote:
has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
They say whisky and petrol don’t mix. They do, but it doesn’t taste nice.
Vote:
has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
I drink so much alcohol I’m afraid to smoke.
Vote:
has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: alcohol
"What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?" "A Budweiser in each hand!"
Vote:
has 45.60 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, men
<<<35363738
More jokes →
Page 35 of 59.