The best animal jokes

Chuck Norris once round house kicked a bear while on a survival trek in Siberia. That incident was known as the Tunguska event.
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, geography
When Chuck Norris walks into a room, the mice jump on chairs.
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach? Elkaseltzer.
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal
Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole? A: Bestiality
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has 48.78 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, military
A guy walks into a bar with a dog under his arm, puts the dog on the bar and announces that the dog can talk and that he has $100 he's willing to bet anyone who says he can't. The bartender quickly takes the bet and the owner looks at the dog and asks, "What's the thing on top of this building which keeps the rain from coming inside?" The dog answers "ROOF." The bartender says, "Who are you kidding? I'm not paying." The dogs owner says, "How about double or nothing and I'll ask him something else". The bartender agrees and the owner turns to the dog and asks, "Who was the greatest ballplayer of all time". The dog answers with a muffled "RUTH." With that the bartender picks them both up and throws them out the door. As they bounce on the sidewalk the dog looks at his owner and says "DiMaggio?".
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, dog
Chuck Norris once had a pet monkey...his name was KING KONG
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
There is a lady laying in bed. At about midnight her husband comes walking in with a sheep under his arm and says ”That’s the fat pig I’ve been sleeping with when I’m not sleeping with you.” His wife gets a confused look on her face and states ”but honey that’s not a pig its a sheep.” Her husband says ”Shut up pig I’m talking to the sheep!”
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, husband
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side…
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
What happens when you kiss a canary? You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.
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has 48.69 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal, bird, health, parrot
Labradoodles were made when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Labrador and a Poodle at the same time.
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has 48.69 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, dog
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