The best animal jokes

A man started to town with a fox, a goose, and a sack of corn. He came to a stream which he had to cross in a tiny boat. He could only take one across at a time. He could not leave the fox alone with the goose or the goose alone with the corn. How did he get them all safely over the stream? He took the goose over first and came back. Then he took the fox across and brought the goose back. Next he took the corn over. He came back alone and took the goose.
has 49.00 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, math
White owl: who who. Black owl: who dat who dat.
has 48.92 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: animal, racist
A penguin's car breaks down and he has it towed to a repair shop. The mechanic tells him that he should have some information in about an hour. The penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street so he wanders over while the mechanic works. He finds the vanilla is the best ice cream he's ever eaten and he eats it with messy and gluttonous abandon getting it all over his face. He goes back to the mechanic's to check on his car. The mechanic informs him, "It looks as though you've blown a seal." "Oh, no." replies the penguin "It's just some ice cream."
has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, mechanic, work
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach? Elkaseltzer.
has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal
On a famous TV game show a blonde contestant needed only to answer one more question. One simple question stood between her and the Ł1.000 prize. "To be today's champion," the show's host smiled, "name two of Santa's reindeer." The blonde gave a sigh of relief because she had been given such an easy question. "Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and... Olive!" The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain... 'Olive?!'" "You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."
has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, game, money, Santa
Q: How do you know the Easter Bunny is really smart? A: Because he's an egghead.
has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, easter
How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
has 48.79 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, disgusting, fat
Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.
has 48.78 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, money
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
has 48.78 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, flirt, sex
A young lawyer was working on a farmer’s case, which asked compensation from the train company because one of they’re trains killed 24 pigs of his. At the High Court, wanting to make impression of the damage amount, the lawyer says: There were 24 pigs gentlemen! Twice as much than you!
has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
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