How can you tell when a skunk is angry? It raises a stink.
When should you feel sorry for a skunk? When its spray pump is out of order!.
Did you hear about the skunk who sat on a fan? He got cut off without a scent.
What is slimy and wobbly, tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas? A red jellyfish.
What is a buttress? A female goat.
Your mamas feet are so scaly you can see crocodile dundy in her foot bath.
A penguin's car breaks down and he has it towed to a repair shop. The mechanic tells him that he should have some information in about an hour. The penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street so he wanders over while the mechanic works. He finds the vanilla is the best ice cream he's ever eaten and he eats it with messy and gluttonous abandon getting it all over his face. He goes back to the mechanic's to check on his car. The mechanic informs him, "It looks as though you've blown a seal." "Oh, no." replies the penguin "It's just some ice cream."
A Football team was on the field during practice, when to their surprise, a big turkey suddenly walked up to the coach and demanded a tryout. "Are you crazy," hollered the coach, "we don’t give tryouts to turkeys." Before he knew it the turkey started dashing towards the football and made a fantastic catch. "That was amazing," exclaimed the coach. "I have never seen anything like that! How much do you want for a year?" "Don’t worry about money," said the turkey, "let me just ask you something, does the season go past thanksgiving?"
When Chuck Norris walks into a room, the mice jump on chairs.