The best animal jokes

White owl: who who. Black owl: who dat who dat.
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has 48.92 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: animal, racist
What do you give a deer with an upset stomach? Elkaseltzer.
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal
On a famous TV game show a blonde contestant needed only to answer one more question. One simple question stood between her and the Ł1.000 prize. "To be today's champion," the show's host smiled, "name two of Santa's reindeer." The blonde gave a sigh of relief because she had been given such an easy question. "Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and... Olive!" The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain... 'Olive?!'" "You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."
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has 48.79 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, game, money, Santa
How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
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has 48.79 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, disgusting, fat
Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.
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has 48.78 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, money
A young lawyer was working on a farmer’s case, which asked compensation from the train company because one of they’re trains killed 24 pigs of his. At the High Court, wanting to make impression of the damage amount, the lawyer says: There were 24 pigs gentlemen! Twice as much than you!
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
Sharks are not living on the sea because they can't breath on continent. They live on a sea, because Chuck Norris doesn't.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
There is a lady laying in bed. At about midnight her husband comes walking in with a sheep under his arm and says ”That’s the fat pig I’ve been sleeping with when I’m not sleeping with you.” His wife gets a confused look on her face and states ”but honey that’s not a pig its a sheep.” Her husband says ”Shut up pig I’m talking to the sheep!”
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, husband
In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance. "This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows." "I see," said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, life
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