The best animal jokes

What's the important part of a horse? The manr part.
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
Why did the horses kept saying orange juice? Because a filly gulped to much orange juice that she turned orange!
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, food
Q: Why do mother kangaroos hate rainy days? A: Because then the children have to play inside.
Vote: has 52.18 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, kids, weather
Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in? The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!
Vote: has 52.10 % from 52 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, dog, marriage, wife
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. "Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me." "I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."
Vote: has 51.86 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, celebrity, divorce, marriage
Q. Why don't lions eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny.
Vote: has 51.67 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal
At a restaurant, one of the customers notices that all of the waiters have two spoons in their vest pockets. A waiter explains, "We see that the most frequently dropped silverware is spoons, therefore we keep them for replacement." Then the customer notices a string hanging out of all the waiters' flies. "The string is for us to go to the bathroom," explains the waiter. "That way, when we pull it, it shoots and aims straight, and we don't need to use our hands." The customer asks, "Well, that's how you get it out, but how do you get it back in?" The waiter replies, "Well, that's another reason we carry the spoons."
Vote: has 51.67 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, disgusting, food
Q: Why do women have 2% more brains then a cow? A: So, when you pull their tits they won't shit on the floor.
Vote: has 51.67 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, women
What is a bear's favourite drink? Koka-Koala.
Vote: has 51.67 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, food
A child walks into a whore house with a dead frog on a string trailing behind him. He makes his way up to the counter and says to the person behind such named counter to give him the most diseased woman you have. She looks down at him for a few moments and replies “I’m sorry but I don’t think I can help you….If you would like, we have this young petite thing that could be just what your looking for.” The child puts a 50 dollar bill on the table and repeats “I want the most diseased woman you have.” She looks down at the bill and hesitates but she says to him “I can’t, but we have this nice grandmotherly type for you to cuddle and snuggle up to.” The child looking irritated slams down another 50 dollar bill insisting that she give him the most diseased woman they have. A few moments go by and finally the lady agrees and tells him to go to room 114 and wait a few moments. As he goes up the stairs the dead frog on a string follows right behind him, hitting every step on the way. Half an hour go by and the child comes down the stairs with the dead frog trailing behind. As he is just about to step out the door and back outside the woman behind the counter stops him. “Excuse me, but I have on question before you go…what is the dead frog for? Turning around the child has a look of pure sencerity as he begins to explain. “I wanted the disease so I could give it to my sister, who would give it to my dad, who would give it to my mom, who would give it to the mail man…And that’s the Son of a Bitch who ran over my pet frog.”
Vote: has 51.61 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, death, health, kids


<<<101102103104
More jokes →
Page 101 of 150.