What's the important part of a horse?
The manr part.
Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark?
A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.
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Chuck Norris bit a spider once then it became Spiderman!
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What did the customer say to the pet shop assistant after buying a bunny?
Rabbit up nicely, it's a gift.
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White owl: who who.
Black owl: who dat who dat.
Law of Cat Composition
A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey.
The country there now is only an impostor.
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Why was the cannibal looking peeky?
Because he had just eaten a Chinese dog!
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A teacher was giving a lesson and was telling the pupils that we came from Adam and Eve.
A hand went up and the kid said, "But my dad told me that we come from apes, Miss?"
Miss replied, "Stay out of this one, Leroy!"
A cat died and went to heaven. St. Peter said to the cat, "Is there anything I can do to make your stay here better?"
The cat said, "I've been sleeping on a cold floor and I'd love a warm pillow to sleep on.
St. Peter gave a pillow to the cat, and the cat headed off to bed.
Later, some mice came to St. Peter. They wanted roller skates to get around faster so St. Peter gave them their skates and the mice went off.
The next evening St. Peter checks in on the cat. "How was your night last night?"
The cat said "That pillow you gave me is really nice, but what I like the most about heaven is the Meals on Wheels."