Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion?
Answer - neither, Chuck Norris would beat them both with a single round-house-kick.
Vote:
"Waiter, what is this hare doing in my salad?"
"I believe he's eating your lettuce."
The reason we are human is because Chuck roundhouse kicked a monkey into a higher species.
Vote:
What does an octopus take on a camping trip?
Tentacles.
A husband and wife are eating soup.
The wife spills soup all over her and says:
"Oh no, I look like a pig"
"Yes and you also have soup all over you!"
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark?
A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.
Vote:
Why did the duck get arrested?
because he was selling quack.
What do you call a cow on a trampoline?
A milkshake.
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"
Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"