Q: What's worse than ants in your pants? A: Uncle.
Chuck Norris can light ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At Night.
Labradoodles were made when Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked a Labrador and a Poodle at the same time.
A man started to town with a fox, a goose, and a sack of corn. He came to a stream which he had to cross in a tiny boat. He could only take one across at a time. He could not leave the fox alone with the goose or the goose alone with the corn. How did he get them all safely over the stream? He took the goose over first and came back. Then he took the fox across and brought the goose back. Next he took the corn over. He came back alone and took the goose.
White owl: who who. Black owl: who dat who dat.
A teacher was giving a lesson and was telling the pupils that we came from Adam and Eve. A hand went up and the kid said, "But my dad told me that we come from apes, Miss?" Miss replied, "Stay out of this one, Leroy!"
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods, finally the bear says, "excuse me ,do you have problems with crap sticking to your furr when you go?" The rabbit replies, "WHY NO".....so then the bear wiped his ass with the rabbit.
Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
Barking dog at the back door wanting in and your wife's yelling at the front wanting in. Which one do you let in? The dog, once he's in, he shuts up!
What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.