The best animal jokes

How do you f*ck a fat chick? Roll her in flour and find the wet spot.
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has 48.79 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, disgusting, fat
A young lawyer was working on a farmer’s case, which asked compensation from the train company because one of they’re trains killed 24 pigs of his. At the High Court, wanting to make impression of the damage amount, the lawyer says: There were 24 pigs gentlemen! Twice as much than you!
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, lawyer
A guy walks into a bar with a giraffe, and the giraffe gets waay too drunk. The bartender says, "Hey! you can't leave that lyin' there!" The guy goes, "that's not a lion its a giraffe!"
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, bar, bartender, drunk
Sharks are not living on the sea because they can't breath on continent. They live on a sea, because Chuck Norris doesn't.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
There is a lady laying in bed. At about midnight her husband comes walking in with a sheep under his arm and says ”That’s the fat pig I’ve been sleeping with when I’m not sleeping with you.” His wife gets a confused look on her face and states ”but honey that’s not a pig its a sheep.” Her husband says ”Shut up pig I’m talking to the sheep!”
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, fat, husband
In India, cows wait until Chuck Norris crosses the street.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
More than anything, Bob wanted to be a cowpoke. Taking pity on him, a rancher decided to hire the lad and give him a chance. "This," he said, showing him a rope, "is a lariat. We use it to catch cows." "I see," said Bob, trying to seem knowledgeable as he examined the lariat. "And what do you use for bait?"
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, life
When Chuck Norris gets angry, forests explode from their own boiling sap. When Chuck Norris laughs, flowers bloom and butterflies hatch.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
Who would win in a fight between a bear and a lion? Answer - neither, Chuck Norris would beat them both with a single round-house-kick.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
The reason we are human is because Chuck roundhouse kicked a monkey into a higher species.
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has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
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