The best animal jokes

White owl: who who. Black owl: who dat who dat.
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has 48.61 % from 89 votes. More jokes about: animal, racist
Chuck Norris once broke a mirror over the head of a black cat while standing under a ladder on Friday the thirteenth. The next day he won the lottery.
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has 48.59 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, money
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
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has 48.52 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: animal, food
A teacher was giving a lesson and was telling the pupils that we came from Adam and Eve. A hand went up and the kid said, "But my dad told me that we come from apes, Miss?" Miss replied, "Stay out of this one, Leroy!"
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has 48.49 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: animal, racist, teacher
What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long? A runny bunny.
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has 48.41 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, chocolate, disgusting, easter, food
On a famous TV game show a blonde contestant needed only to answer one more question. One simple question stood between her and the Ł1.000 prize. "To be today's champion," the show's host smiled, "name two of Santa's reindeer." The blonde gave a sigh of relief because she had been given such an easy question. "Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and... Olive!" The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain... 'Olive?!'" "You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, game, money, Santa
A rattle snake bit Chuck Norris in the leg and the snake died instantly!
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, death
A deer hunter was bragging about the biggest, baddest, handsomest, heaviest deer he'd bagged the day before. "It's got enough meat to eat the whole year," he boasted. Just then the Game Warden came up and cited the man $500 for hunting without the proper tag. "Five-hundred dollars?" exclaimed the hunter. "All for a mangy, skinny, stubby, half-pint deer?"
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, hunting, money, time
A penguin's car breaks down and he has it towed to a repair shop. The mechanic tells him that he should have some information in about an hour. The penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street so he wanders over while the mechanic works. He finds the vanilla is the best ice cream he's ever eaten and he eats it with messy and gluttonous abandon getting it all over his face. He goes back to the mechanic's to check on his car. The mechanic informs him, "It looks as though you've blown a seal." "Oh, no." replies the penguin "It's just some ice cream."
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, mechanic, work
The male worm towards the female worm: Baby, if you don’t take me as you’re husband, I’m throwing myself to the chickens!
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, husband
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