What is slimy and wobbly, tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas?
A red jellyfish.
Your mamas feet are so scaly you can see crocodile dundy in her foot bath.
Q. What do frogs do with paper?
A. Rip-it!
What happens when you kiss a canary?
You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.
What did Mariah Carey really wanted to sing: "All I want for Christmas is you... to get hit by a reindeer."
Chuck Norris is the reason why This Little Piggy cried wee wee wee all the way home.
Vote:
Q: How do you know the Easter Bunny is really smart?
A: Because he's an egghead.
If we were both squirrels, would you let me bust a nut in your hole?
A father notices his young son staring at something on the ground.
The father approaches his son and asks what he's looking at.
The boy says that he sees two daddy long legs on top of each other, and asks what they're doing.
They father replies that the two spiders are having sex.
It's a completely natural thing that a mommy and daddy do when they love each other.
The son then asks if one is a daddy long leg and the other is a mommy long leg.
The father says that they're both daddy long legs.
The son stomps on them, killing them.
The father asks why he did that.
The boy replies "I don't want any of that faggot-ass shit in my yard."