What did the slug say as he slipped down the window very fast?
How slime flies.
What is slimy and wobbly, tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas?
A red jellyfish.
Your mamas feet are so scaly you can see crocodile dundy in her foot bath.
A teacher was giving a lesson and was telling the pupils that we came from Adam and Eve.
A hand went up and the kid said, "But my dad told me that we come from apes, Miss?"
Miss replied, "Stay out of this one, Leroy!"
Q. What do frogs do with paper?
A. Rip-it!
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"
Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
Chuck Norris is the reason why This Little Piggy cried wee wee wee all the way home.
Vote:
A cat died and went to heaven. St. Peter said to the cat, "Is there anything I can do to make your stay here better?"
The cat said, "I've been sleeping on a cold floor and I'd love a warm pillow to sleep on.
St. Peter gave a pillow to the cat, and the cat headed off to bed.
Later, some mice came to St. Peter. They wanted roller skates to get around faster so St. Peter gave them their skates and the mice went off.
The next evening St. Peter checks in on the cat. "How was your night last night?"
The cat said "That pillow you gave me is really nice, but what I like the most about heaven is the Meals on Wheels."
What happens when you kiss a canary?
You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.