How do you make a small fortune out of horses? Start off with a large fortune!
I saw some ducks practicing their teenage girl faces at the pond today.
Q: Why does a dog stay in a shadow. A: Because it doesn't want to be a Hotdog.
Chuck Norris doesn't sleep with a teddy bear. He sleeps with a real bear.
Yo' Mama is so fat, after sex, she smokes a turkey.
What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties? "Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo."
What's a moo hoo for a bunch of weirdo cattle? A nerd herd.
What's a moo hoo for a cattle dinner? Cow chow.
In what state will you find the most cows? Moo York.
What is a moo hoo for the bucket that goes at the back end of the cow? A tail pail.