The best animal jokes

What do you get if you cross an eel with a shopper? A slippery customer.
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What is a buttress? A female goat.
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What would you get if you crossed a grizzly with the world's greatest basketball player? Bear Jordan.
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Did you hear about Mike Tyson's horse? It got angry and bit at the champ!
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Why is manna from heaven like horse hay? Both are food from aloft!
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Question: What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig? Answer: A woman that doesn’t do what she’s told.
Vote: has 49.36 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark? A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.
Vote: has 49.00 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, disgusting, redneck
A husband and wife are eating soup. The wife spills soup all over her and says: "Oh no, I look like a pig" "Yes and you also have soup all over you!"
Vote: has 48.79 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food, husband, marriage, wife
What’s the difference between a black and a white bull? The white bull does: “Mooo”. The black bull does: “Hey man, Mooo, man!”
Vote: has 48.78 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, racist
A child walks into a whore house with a dead frog on a string trailing behind him. He makes his way up to the counter and says to the person behind such named counter to give him the most diseased woman you have. She looks down at him for a few moments and replies “I’m sorry but I don’t think I can help you….If you would like, we have this young petite thing that could be just what your looking for.” The child puts a 50 dollar bill on the table and repeats “I want the most diseased woman you have.” She looks down at the bill and hesitates but she says to him “I can’t, but we have this nice grandmotherly type for you to cuddle and snuggle up to.” The child looking irritated slams down another 50 dollar bill insisting that she give him the most diseased woman they have. A few moments go by and finally the lady agrees and tells him to go to room 114 and wait a few moments. As he goes up the stairs the dead frog on a string follows right behind him, hitting every step on the way. Half an hour go by and the child comes down the stairs with the dead frog trailing behind. As he is just about to step out the door and back outside the woman behind the counter stops him. “Excuse me, but I have on question before you go…what is the dead frog for? Turning around the child has a look of pure sencerity as he begins to explain. “I wanted the disease so I could give it to my sister, who would give it to my dad, who would give it to my mom, who would give it to the mail man…And that’s the Son of a Bitch who ran over my pet frog.”
Vote: has 48.78 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, death, health, kids