Why is manna from heaven like horse hay? Both are food from aloft!
Question: What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig? Answer: A woman that doesn’t do what she’s told.
How does a cow do math? With a cowculator.
Racehorses have to pee like Chuck Norris.
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?" Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. "Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me." "I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."
Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark? A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, about half hour later they were both killed by a train.