Why do elephants squirt water through their noses?
If they squirted it through their tails, it'd be very difficult to aim. 
A baby snake asked it's mom, "Mommy are we poisonous?"
The mother snake responded, "Yes honey, but why do you want to know?"
The baby snake responded, "Because I just bit myself..."
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order.
"I'd like to get the turtle soup, please."
The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead.
"Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
Vote:
Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay!
What magazine makes cows stampede to the newsstand?
Cows-mopolitan!
What's a moo hoo for a cattle dinner?
Cow chow.
What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?
A lawn moo-er.
What newspaper do cows read?
The Daily Moos.
If you crossed a cow with Michael Jackson, what song would you get?
"Beeflt!"
What US state has the most cows?
Moosouri.