How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
A woman walks into a bar with her 5 pound Chihuahua and sits down next to this guy, whom she notices is feeling a little bit queasy.
A few minutes go buy and the guy looks at her and blows his chunks.
He looks down and sees the little dog struggling in a pool of vomit and says, "Whoa, I don't remember eating that!"
Q) What do you call a dog with no legs?
A) It doesn't matter, he won't come!
Chuck Norris isn't a cat person but if he was, he would own 3 lions, a snow leopard, and cougar.
Vote:
Q: Why can't you take a turkey to church?
A: Because they use such FOWL language.
Vote:
What do you call a penguin in the desert?
Lost!
Chuck Norris does not buy ground beef, he just takes a whole cow, runs it through his beard, and fully cooked hamburgers come out.
Vote:
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she goes to the park, the pigeons throw her bread.
Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay!
What magazine makes cows stampede to the newsstand?
Cows-mopolitan!