One goldfish to his tankmate: "If there's no God, who changes the water?"
A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn't show up at the church.
He got colt feet.
Q: What do you call a frog who wants to be a cowboy?
A: Hoppalong Cassidy.
A deer hunter who was an atheist was out in the woods when suddenly a 1,000-pound deer stepped out.
"Good God!" exclaimed the hunter.
Suddenly, a voice from Heaven said, "I thought you don't believe in me."
The hunter replied, "Up until now I didn't believe in 1,000-pound deer either."
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
A waitress walks up to a man to take his order.
"I'd like to get the turtle soup, please."
The waitress walks off to go get his order, but the man changes his mind and decides he wants the pea soup instead.
"Hold the turtle, make it pea!"
Vote:
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she goes to the park, the pigeons throw her bread.
Chuck Norris uses live piranhas as bath toys.
Vote:
Why did the moron give the sleepy cow a hammer?
He wanted her to hit the hay!
What magazine makes cows stampede to the newsstand?
Cows-mopolitan!