What does an octopus take on a camping trip?
Tentacles.
It's call a Chuck Steak because Chuck just kicked that cow's butt.
Vote:
Q: How do you know the Easter Bunny is really smart?
A: Because he's an egghead.
A blond a, a brunette and a redhead were at the top of a cliff looking down at the beach.
Suddenly a genie appears to them and says "I will grant you each one wish if you'll jump off the side of this cliff."
So the redhead jumps off and shouts "Seagull" and turns into a seagull and flies away.
Then the brunette jumps off and shouts "Whale" and turns into a whale, falls into the sea and swims away.
Finally the blond runs towards the cliff edge, but trips at the last second, as as she falls she shouts out "Shit"
A husband and wife are eating soup.
The wife spills soup all over her and says:
"Oh no, I look like a pig"
"Yes and you also have soup all over you!"
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
Q: What's worse than ants in your pants?
A: Uncle.
What's red and green and goes at 100mph?
A frog in a blender.
A woman walks into a bar with her 5 pound Chihuahua and sits down next to this guy, whom she notices is feeling a little bit queasy.
A few minutes go buy and the guy looks at her and blows his chunks.
He looks down and sees the little dog struggling in a pool of vomit and says, "Whoa, I don't remember eating that!"
Q) What do you call a dog with no legs?
A) It doesn't matter, he won't come!