What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.
Q. Why don't lions eat clowns? A. Because they taste funny.
Three mice in a pub having a bevy discussing who's the hardest. 1st mouse says I'm the hardest I go up to mousetraps rip the cheese out and as the bar comes down i bench press it 30 times and throw it across the room! 2nd mouse says : you poof! I get rat poison' crush it into powder and snort it. 3rd mouse finishes his drink, gets up and walks to the door, where are you going? asked the other 2. Home he replied to shag the cat!
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
Q:Where do you find giant snails? A:On the ends of their fingers.
Yo' Mama is so fat, after sex, she smokes a turkey.
What happens when you kiss a canary? You get chirpes, it can't be tweeted because its a canarial disease.
What do cows sing at their friends birthday parties? "Happy Birthday to MOO, Happy Birthday to Moo."
What does an octopus take on a camping trip? Tentacles.
Why did the bareback performer ride his horse? Because it got too heavy to carry.