The best animal jokes

Why is manna from heaven like horse hay? Both are food from aloft!
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, heaven
Question: What’s worse than a male chauvinistic pig? Answer: A woman that doesn’t do what she’s told.
Vote: has 49.36 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, women
How does a cow do math? With a cowculator.
Vote: has 48.78 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, math
Racehorses have to pee like Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 48.78 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
Vote: has 48.65 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, food
Little Johnny: „Mom, can I get a dog at Christmas, please?"  Mother: „No, you'll be getting turkey, like every year!"
Vote: has 48.65 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, Christmas, dog, food, little Johnny
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse are in divorce court. "Mickey," the judge says, "I'm sorry. I can't grant you a divorce on the grounds of insanity. Minnie seems quite sane to me." "I didn't say she was insane," exclaims Mickey. "I said she was f**king Goofy."
Vote: has 48.37 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, celebrity, divorce, marriage
Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark? A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.
Vote: has 48.37 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, disgusting, redneck
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, about half hour later they were both killed by a train.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, blonde