The best animal jokes

What is slimy and wobbly, tastes of raspberry and lives in the seas? A red jellyfish.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Where do sharks come from? Sharkago.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why did a gambler scare everyone out swimming? He was a card shark.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, game
What is a buttress? A female goat.
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has 49.51 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: animal, women
A penguin's car breaks down and he has it towed to a repair shop. The mechanic tells him that he should have some information in about an hour. The penguin sees an ice cream shop across the street so he wanders over while the mechanic works. He finds the vanilla is the best ice cream he's ever eaten and he eats it with messy and gluttonous abandon getting it all over his face. He goes back to the mechanic's to check on his car. The mechanic informs him, "It looks as though you've blown a seal." "Oh, no." replies the penguin "It's just some ice cream."
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, mechanic, work
When Chuck Norris walks into a room, the mice jump on chairs.
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
On a famous TV game show a blonde contestant needed only to answer one more question. One simple question stood between her and the Ł1.000 prize. "To be today's champion," the show's host smiled, "name two of Santa's reindeer." The blonde gave a sigh of relief because she had been given such an easy question. "Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and... Olive!" The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain... 'Olive?!'" "You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, game, money, Santa
Q: Why don't seagulls fly over the bay? A: Because then they'd be bay gulls.
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, travel
Piranhas in the aquarium: sink your finger, lose your finger-game!
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, fish, game
What's the difference between a mosquito and a woman? When you slap a mosquito it stops sucking.
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has 49.13 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, sex, women
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