The best animal jokes

What do you give a deer with an upset stomach? Elkaseltzer.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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Did you hear about Mike Tyson's horse? It got angry and bit at the champ!
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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Why is manna from heaven like horse hay? Both are food from aloft!
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Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark? A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.
Vote: has 49.30 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, disgusting, redneck
Racehorses have to pee like Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 48.78 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

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How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
Vote: has 48.65 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, death, lawyer
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, about half hour later they were both killed by a train.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, blonde
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal