The best animal jokes

White owl: who who. Black owl: who dat who dat.
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has 48.08 % from 88 votes. More jokes about: animal, racist
Law of Cat Composition A cat is composed of Matter + Anti-Matter + It Doesn't Matter.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
Why are there no zebras in Czech zoos? Czechs and stripes don’t mix.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
Thousands of years ago cats were worshipped as gods. Cats have never forgotten this.
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
There was once a man from the city who was visiting a small farm, and during this visit he saw a farmer feeding pigs in a most extraordinary manner. The farmer would lift a pig up to a nearby apple tree, and the pig would eat the apples off the tree directly. The farmer would move the pig from one apple to another until the pig was satisfied, then he would start again with another pig. The city man watched this activity for some time with great astonishment. Finally, he could not resist saying to the farmer, “This is the most inefficient method of feeding pigs that I can imagine. Just think of the time that would be saved if you simply shook the apples off the tree and let the pigs eat them from the ground!” The farmer looked puzzled and replied, “What’s time to a pig?”
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: animal
Chuck Norris was once so famished, he ate Turkey. The country there now is only an impostor.
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has 48.02 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris, food
A teacher was giving a lesson and was telling the pupils that we came from Adam and Eve. A hand went up and the kid said, "But my dad told me that we come from apes, Miss?" Miss replied, "Stay out of this one, Leroy!"
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has 47.87 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: animal, racist, teacher
A cat died and went to heaven. St. Peter said to the cat, "Is there anything I can do to make your stay here better?" The cat said, "I've been sleeping on a cold floor and I'd love a warm pillow to sleep on. St. Peter gave a pillow to the cat, and the cat headed off to bed. Later, some mice came to St. Peter. They wanted roller skates to get around faster so St. Peter gave them their skates and the mice went off. The next evening St. Peter checks in on the cat. "How was your night last night?" The cat said "That pillow you gave me is really nice, but what I like the most about heaven is the Meals on Wheels."
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has 47.79 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: animal, cat, food, heaven
The wild and mean bear grabs the hedgehog and asks him: "Were you at the fox’s party as well?" "Yes, I was. So what?" "Were you sitting on the table?" "Yeah, why?" The bear, ready to leg press him, changes his mind and says to the hedgehog: "Next time, wherever you go, take an umbrella with you!" "But why, my friend?" the hedgehog wonders. "Cause all night long, I was taking thorns off my ass!"
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has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, mean, party
Q: Whats worse then finding half a worm in your apple? A: The Holocaust.
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has 47.62 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, black humor, food
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