What do you give a deer with an upset stomach? Elkaseltzer.
Did you hear about Mike Tyson's horse? It got angry and bit at the champ!
Why is manna from heaven like horse hay? Both are food from aloft!
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? A: Sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
Q: How does a redneck tell the difference between a bull and a cow in the dark? A: He sticks his nose in the animal's ass. If there's a place for his tongue, it's a cow.
Racehorses have to pee like Chuck Norris.
How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight? Have YOU ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
Q: What's the difference between a dead skunk lying in the road and a dead lawyer lying in the road? A: There are skid marks in front of the skunk.
Two blondes were walking through the woods when one looked down and said "Oh, look at the deer tracks." The other blonde looks and says "Those aren't deer tracks, those are wolf tracks." "No. Those are deer tracks." They keep arguing, and arguing, about half hour later they were both killed by a train.
What happens to a frog's car when it breaks down? It gets toad away.