The best animal jokes

How many animals can you get into a pair of tights? 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 p*ssy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, fish
Q: What's worse than ants in your pants? A: Uncle.
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, family, sex
Two rednecks, Bubba And Billy Bob, were walking through a pasture. Bubba sees a sheep caught up in a fence and says to Billy Bob "I'm gonna get me some of that"! Bubba goes over and sticks the sheep's back feet in his rubber boots, unzips his pants and starts to have sex with the sheep. He looks over his shoulder at Billy Bob and says "Do you want some of this"? Billy Bob replies "yes let me see if I can get my shirt caught up in the fence".
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has 60.75 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, redneck, sex, stupid
What do you call a fish with no eye? Fsh.
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has 60.72 % from 224 votes. More jokes about: animal
We must admit that we want to be like some animals. We all want to be strong like a bear, we want to have a sharp sight like a falcon, the intelligence like an owl, the endurance like a horse, we want to sing like a skylark, we want to be running like a fox and of course we all want to have the salivas like a dragon lizard.
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has 60.66 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, horse, life
A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are stuck on top of a cliff. A magical bird flies to them and tells them that each one of them can jump off the cliff and wish to be one thing to fly away on. They will become that thing and can escape from their arduous situation. The redhead goes first. She jumps and says "eagle!". She turns into an eagle and flies away. The brunette jumps off and says,"hawk!" she turns into a hawk and flies away. The blonde takes a running start, trips on a rock as she nears the edge. "Oh crap!" she yells.
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has 60.65 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, ginger
Why is there no gambling in Africa? -Too many Cheetahs!
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has 60.60 % from 264 votes. More jokes about: animal
A salesman is talking to a farmer when he looks over and sees a rooster wearing pants, a shirt, and suspenders. He says, “What the hell is that all about?” The farmer says, “We had a fire in the chicken coop and all his feathers got singed off, so the wife made him some clothes to keep him warm. There ain’t nothing funnier than watching him try to hold down a hen with one foot and get his pants down with the other.”
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, wife
Chuck Norris doesn't just bring home the bacon, he brings home the whole pig.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal, Chuck Norris
What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster? A cock that stays up all night.
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has 60.56 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: animal
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