Does a dolphin ever do something by accident?
No, they do everything on porpoise.
How could the dolphin afford to buy a house?
He prawned everything.
What do you get if you cross a bottle of water with an electric eel?
A bit of a shock really.
Why was the horseman fired from his job of saddle testing?
He was always standing up on the job!
A man drives to a gas station and has his tank filled up.
The gas pumper spots two penguins sitting in the back seat of the car.
He asks the driver, "What's up with the penguins in the back seat?"
The man in the car says "I found them.
I asked myself what to do with them, but I haven't had a clue."
The clerk ponders a bit then says, "You should take them to the zoo."
"Hey, that's a good idea," says the man in the car and drives away.
The next day the man with the car is back at the same gas station.
The clerk sees the penguins are still in the back seat of the car.
"Hey, they're still here!
I thought you were going to take them to the zoo."
"Oh, I did," says the driver, "And we had a swell time.
Today I am taking them to the beach."
Q: What will a giraffe do, if you spit in its face?
A: It will kick off your ladder…
Q:Where do you find a dog with no legs?
A:Right where you left him.
What would you do if your were in a large room, all sealed up, no windows, the door was locked, and there were 5 hungry tigers, 32 vultures, 17 spitting cobras, 213 tarantulas, 1 laywer, and you had a gun with only two bullets?
Shoot the lawyer twice.
Q: Why is a blonde like a turtle?
A: They both get fucked up when they're on their backs.
Q: What animal could Noah not trust?
A: Cheetah.