The best animal jokes

Two snakes are talking. One of them turns to the other and asks, "Are we venomous?" The other replays, "Yes,why?..." "I just bit ma lip."
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal
What does an octopus wear on a cold day? A coat of arms.
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, weather
Q: What did the mother turkey say to her disobedient children? A: If your father could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, death, kids, Thanksgiving
A man walks into a bar with a dog. The bartender says, "You can't bring that dog in here." "You don't understand," says the man. "This is no regular dog, he can talk." "Listen, pal," says the bartender. "If that dog can talk, I'll give you a hundred bucks. "The man puts the dog on a stool, and asks him, "What's on top of a house?" "Roof!" "Right. And what's on the outside of a tree?" "Bark!" "And who's the greatest baseball player of all time?" "Ruth!" "I guess you've heard enough," says the man. "I'll take the hundred in twenties." The bartender is furious. "Listen, pal," he says, "get out of here before I belt you." As soon as they're on the street, the dog turns to the man and says, "Do you think I should have said 'DiMaggio'?"
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has 59.83 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, bartender, sport
Q: Did you hear the Energizer Bunny Was Arrested? A: Charged With Battery.
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, prison
Two cows were chatting over the fence between their fields. The first cow said, "I tell you, this mad-cow-disease is really pretty scary. They say it is spreading fast; I heard it hit some cows down on the Johnson Farm."  The other cow replied, "Hell, I ain't worried, it won't affect us ducks."
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, duck, health
Q: Why didn't go Noah fishing? A: He only had two worms.
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, bible, fish
This little kid is walking up the street with his Daddy. They see two dogs going at it. The little kid says "Hey daddy what are those doggies doing?" The father says "Ahh, they're making a puppy." That night the little kid walks in on his mother & father and daddy's on top driving it home to mama! The little kid says "Hey daddy what were you doing with Mommy?" He says "Oh, were making it a baby." The kid say "Turn her over, I want a puppy!"
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, family, kids, sex
Q: What is the difference between a rooster and a whore? A: The rooster goes cock doodle do and the whore goes any cock do!
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, vulgar, work
Q: Why is the camel called the ship of the desert? A: Because it's full of Arab semen.
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has 59.79 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty, geography
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