Q: Where do birds meet for coffee?
A: In a nest-cafe!
Q: What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A: After a year the dog is still happy to see you.
Q: Why can't black kids play in the the sandbox?
A: Because the cats keep covering them up.
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Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm."
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Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?"
Kangaroo: "I can't find my children"
Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?"
Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."
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Two skunks observed a deer hunter sneaking through the woods with a rifle.
"I hope he's not going to shoot at us," said one skunk.
The second skunk bowed his head and said, "Let us spray."
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Why do cows wear bells around their necks?
Because their horns don't work.
Q: What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer?
A: Show us your calves!
Two snakes are talking.
One of them turns to the other and asks, "Are we venomous?"
The other replays, "Yes,why?..."
"I just bit ma lip."
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog, Skipper, had recently died.
"You know," Mom said, "it's not so bad.
Skipper's probably up in Heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."
Susie stopped crying and asked, "What would God want with a dead dog?"