Will I ever be able to race my horse again the owner asked the vet. The vet replied, "You certainly will, and you ll probably beat her too!"
Girl: We have a mayor. Do you? Horse: Sure! Girl: What do you call it? Horse: Same as you do. Mare!
Yo mama cooking so bad, the flies chipped for a screen door!
One day the zookeeper noticed that the Orangutan was reading two books - the Bible and Darwin's Origin of Species. In surprise he asked the ape, "Why are you reading both those books"? "Well," said the Orangutan, "I just wanted to know if I was my brother's keeper or my keeper's brother."
What do you get if you cross a cow with a spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A cockerpoodlemoo.
What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater? Claws.
Who held the baby octopus to ransom? Squidnappers.
Why was the man sued by his horse? For palomino-money!
Did you hear about the cannibal spider that ate his uncle's wife? He was an aunteater.
Q: Why can't black kids play in the the sandbox? A: Because the cats keep covering them up.