Dogs believe they are human. Cats believe they are God.
What's a skunk's favourite game in school? Show and smell.
What is a dolphin's favorite TV show? Whale of fortune.
Q. What did the snail say when he hitched a ride on the turtle? A. Wheeeee.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: It was escaping from K.F.C.
Q: Which side of a deer has the most meat? A: The inside.
What do you get when you try to cross a pit bull with a computer? A lot of bites.
What do you get when a cow goes to the Beach with tanning oil? Pre-tanned leather.
What do cows get when they do all their chores? Mooney.
What's a moo hoo for a cow barn on a holiday? A merry dairy.