Chuck Norris invented the Giraffe when he roundhouse kicked a spotted Horse in the chin.
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Q: Where do birds meet for coffee?
A: In a nest-cafe!
Q: What’s the difference between a new husband and a new dog?
A: After a year the dog is still happy to see you.
Kangaroo 911: "What's your emergency?"
Kangaroo: "I can't find my children"
Kangaroo 911: "Did you check your pockets?"
Kangaroo: "Oh nevermind."
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Two skunks observed a deer hunter sneaking through the woods with a rifle.
"I hope he's not going to shoot at us," said one skunk.
The second skunk bowed his head and said, "Let us spray."
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I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
Why do cows wear bells around their necks?
Because their horns don't work.
What did the rabbit bride get on her wedding day?
A forty-carrot wedding ring.
Q: What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer?
A: Show us your calves!
Two snakes are talking.
One of them turns to the other and asks, "Are we venomous?"
The other replays, "Yes,why?..."
"I just bit ma lip."