What do you call someone who sticks his right hand in shark's mouths? Lefty.
If a hungry shark is after you, what should you feed it? Jawbreakers.
Exasperated dragon on the field of battle: "Mother said there would be knights like this."
Did you hear about the man who received a tip on a horse called Cigarette? He didn't have enough money tabaccer!
Q: What do you call a naked deer? A: Buck naked!
What did the bee say to the flower? "Hi, honey."
Q: Why is the old, worn out horse named Flattery? A: Because it gets you nowhere.
What is the difference between an pilot and a pig? The pig doesn't turn into a pilot when it's drunk.
A three-year-old boy fell eighteen feet into a zoo enclosure containing seven gorillas. He was immediately rescued, not by zookeepers, but by one of the animals. The 150 lb. female gorilla picked up the unconscious form of the boy and laid it at a door to be easily retrieved by zookeepers. This cross-species rescue has resulted in thousands of dollars in donations to the zoo. It is perhaps because of these donations that zookeepers have kept quiet about one vital detail, a hastily scrawled note tucked in the boy's collar: "Thanks; but we prefer fruit."
Yo' Mama is like a donkey: everybody rides the ass.