Q: What do you get when you cross a collie with a trumpet?
A: A Lassie who plays brassie!
What do spiders like to order at a fast food restaurant?
Burgers and flies.
What do cows read at the breakfast table?
The moospaper.
Q: Why do bunnies have soft sex?
A: They have cotton balls.
A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection.
They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap.
When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given additional leeway, the rabbit said that he, too, had been blind since birth.
The two animals then forgot about the collision and began commiserating concerning the problems of being blind.
The snake said that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity.
He had never been able to see his reflection in the water, and for that reason did not know exactly what he looked like, or even what he was.
The rabbit declared that he had the same problem.
Seeing a way that they could help each other, the rabbit proposed that one feel the other from head to toe, and then try to describe what the other animal was.
The snake agreed and started by winding himself around the rabbit.
After a few moments, he announced, "You've got very soft, fuzzy fur, long ears, big rear feet, and a little fuzzy ball for a tail. I think that you must be a bunny rabbit!"
The rabbit was much relieved to find his identity and proceeded to return the favor to the snake.
After feeling about the snake's body for a few minutes, he asserted, "Well, you're scaly, you're slimy, you've got beady little eyes, you squirm and slither all the time, and you've got a forked tongue. I think you're a lawyer!"
Q: Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple?
A: Finding half a worm."
Vote:
Q: What do you say to a bodybuilding cow farmer?
A: Show us your calves!
Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Fry-day!
The judge:
Why did you shoot the rabbit without being a member of the hunters association?
The inculpated:
Why did the rabbit eat cabbage from my garden, without being a family member?
Two snakes are talking.
One of them turns to the other and asks, "Are we venomous?"
The other replays, "Yes,why?..."
"I just bit ma lip."