Chuck Norris' dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.
What do you call a chocolate Easter bunny that was out in the sun too long? A runny bunny.
What do you call a rabbit who is real cool? A hip hopper.
Chuck Norris eats black holes for breakfast. They taste like chicken.
Chuck Norris can kill a Great White Shark by drowning it.
There's a guy Who's hiking in the woods one day when a bear chases him up a really tall tree. The bear started to climb the tree, so the guy climbed up higher. Then, the bear climbed down and went away. So the guy starts to climb down the tree. Suddenly, the bear returns, and this time he's brought an even bigger bear with him. The two bears climb up the tree, the bigger bear going higher than the first. But the guy climbed even higher still, so the bears couldn't reach him. Eventually, the bears went away. Naturally quite relieved, the guy starts down the tree again. Suddenly, the two bears return. But this time the guy knew he was in big trouble. Each bear was carrying a BEAVER.
What happened to the man who tried to cross a lioin with a goat? He had to get a new goat.
One day Mullah was beating his donkey in a remote place. A man saw him and asked: why are you beating the poor animal. Sorry, said Mullah, is it a member of your family?
Chuck Norris doesn't get shark attacked, the shark gets Chuck Norris attacked.
Q: Why was the Easter Bunny so upset? A: He was having a bad hare day!