Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".
Q: What do you call a dog with no legs? A: Doesn't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
A man enters a little country store and sees a sign reading, ‘Danger! Beware of Dog’. He then sees an old hound dog lying asleep on the floor. ‘Is that the dog folks are supposed to beware of?’ says the man to the shopkeeper. ‘Yep,’ replies the shopkeeper. ‘Before I posted that sign, everyone kept tripping over him.’
Q:What did the polar bear say when they saw tourists in sleeping bags? A:Mmmm, sandwiches!
Yo' Mama is so fat, when she went to KFC, she ordered the bucket of chicken on the roof.
What's the best way to make a bull sweat? Put him in a tight jumper !
What's a moo hoo for grazing school? Grass class.
What do you call a tired cow? Milked out.
What do you call explosive cow vomit? A cud missle.
What did one dairy cow say to another? Got milk?