The best animal jokes

A man is walking through the wood and he meets a really ugly, big and a fat frog. The frog says: "Hello, prince if you kiss me, I will fulfill you one wish. You can wish whatever you want." The man says: "Ok, I will kiss you." He kisses the frog, he has told her his wish but nothing has happened. And the frog said: "Now you can see, such an old man and still believes in fairy tales."
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: age, animal, mean, stupid
How did cows feel when the branding iron was invented? They were very impressed.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal
There was once a puppy called May who loved to pick quarrels with animals who were bigger than she was. One day she argued with a lion. The next day was the first of June. Why? Because that was the end of May!
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: animal, love, time
Q: What do you call a guy with his hand up a Camel's arse? A: An Arab mechanic.
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has 61.10 % from 140 votes. More jokes about: animal, mechanic, racist
What is the difference between an pilot and a pig? The pig doesn't turn into a pilot when it's drunk.
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has 61.01 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: air force, animal, drunk
A team of little animals and a team of big animals decided to play football. During the first half of the game, the big animals were winning. But during the second half,a centipede scored so many touchdowns that the little animals won the game. When the game was over, the chipmunk asked the centipede, “Where were you during the first half?” He replied “Putting on my shoes!”.
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, game, soccer
Two little squirrels were walking along in the forest. The first one spied a nut and cried out, "Oh, look! A nut!" The second squirrel jumped on it and said, "It's my nut!" The first squirrel said, "That's not fair! I saw it first!" "Well, you may have seen it, but I have it," argued the second. At that point, a lawyer squirrel came up and said, "You shouldn't quarrel.Let me resolve this dispute." The two squirrels nodded, and the lawyer squirrel said, "Now, give me the nut." He broke the nut in half, and handed half to each squirrel, saying, "See? It was foolish of you to fight. Now the dispute is resolved." Then he reached over and said, "And for my fee, I'll take the meat."
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, food, lawyer
How many animals can you get into a pair of tights? 10 little piggies, 2 calves, 1 beaver, 1 ass, 1 p*ssy, thousands of hares and a dead fish no one can ever find.
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, fish
Q: What's worse than ants in your pants? A: Uncle.
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, dirty, family, sex
What did the flower say to be the bee? "Buzz off you stupid ugly horny cunt."
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: animal, communication, dirty, vulgar
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