"My friend is nuts. He thinks he's Bugs Bunny. But I m positive he isn't." "How do you know he isn t?" "Because I am."
What was the name of the film about a killer lion that swam underwater? Claws.
Why did the indecisive chicken cross the road? To get to the other side… er, no… to go shopping… no, not that either… damn it!
Why was the man sued by his horse? For palomino-money!
Q: Which side of a deer has the most meat? A: The inside.
What do dinosaurs put on their floors? Rep-tiles.
How do elephants hide in the jungle? Paint their balls red and pretend they are cherries! What's the loudest noise in the jungle? Monkeys eating cherries...
What do a rattlesnake and a soft penis have in common? You can't f**k with either one.
Why did the cow jump over the moon? To get to the Milky Way!
Yo momma is so hairy when she lifts her armpit up it looks like she's got Bigfoot in a headlock.