The best baby jokes

Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones? Because they're hand made.
Vote: has 26.78 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, beauty, black humor
How did the live baby escape from a room filled with with zombie babies? He ate his way out.
Vote: has 25.81 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, disgusting
What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag.
Vote: has 25.12 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor
Q: Why do you put babies into a blender feet first? A: So you can see the look in their eyes when you turn it on!
Vote: has 24.92 % from 107 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor, disgusting
What is a baby? "A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end and has no sense of responsibility at the other."
Vote: has 22.34 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, kids
How do you stop a baby falling down a manhole? Stick a javelin through it's head.
Vote: has 20.95 % from 69 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor, dirty
What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ? Cancer.
Vote: has 20.77 % from 90 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, Christmas, disgusting, health
What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Vote: has 19.63 % from 207 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, dead baby, disgusting, life, sex
What bounces up and down at 100mph? A baby tied to the back of a truck.
Vote: has 19.58 % from 104 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, car, disgusting
Three women were sitting in a bar, (burnette, redhead, and a blonde) they were all pregnant. The burnette says, "I know what I'm going to have." The other to asked how. She replied, "Well I was on top when I concieved so I will have a baby boy". The red head said, "If your logic is correct then I will have a baby girl because I was on the bottom when I concieved. The blonde starts crying and orders another shot and starts screaming, "PUPPIES, PUPPIES!".
Vote: has 19.47 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, baby, bar, blonde, ginger