The best baby jokes

How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? Nail its other hand to the floor.
Vote:
has 35.25 % from 82 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor
Which is the only day you you are safe in a cannibal village? Sitter days (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)!
Vote:
has 35.20 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
Vote:
has 33.24 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: baby, birthday, Chuck Norris, doctor
What's red and lies in all four corners of the room? A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
Vote:
has 32.76 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting
A mother goes to the market and leaves her lilttle boy in the house. Meanwhile, she leaves her phone charging on the floor in the house. Unfortunately, power goes off and there is a message that comes with a sound on the phone. The message reads, ' battery low'. Concerned, the little boy picks the phone and puts it on the table and wait for some time waiting to see another message on the phone that should read, 'battery high'. He was disappointed.
Vote:
has 32.38 % from 59 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, phone, stupid, technology
Why are test tube babies the most beautiful ones? Because they're hand made.
Vote:
has 32.18 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: baby, beauty, black humor
Three women were sitting in a bar, (burnette, redhead, and a blonde) they were all pregnant. The burnette says, "I know what I'm going to have." The other to asked how. She replied, "Well I was on top when I concieved so I will have a baby boy". The red head said, "If your logic is correct then I will have a baby girl because I was on the bottom when I concieved. The blonde starts crying and orders another shot and starts screaming, "PUPPIES, PUPPIES!".
Vote:
has 31.03 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, baby, bar, blonde, ginger
What is a baby? "A soft pink thing that makes a lot of noise at one end and has no sense of responsibility at the other."
Vote:
has 28.82 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids
Q: What's worse then finding 10 zombie babies in a garbage can? A: Finding one zombie baby in 10 garbage cans.
Vote:
has 26.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting
How do you unload a truck of zombie babies? With a pitchfork.
Vote:
has 26.97 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting
<<<151617
More jokes →
Page 15 of 17.