The best baby jokes

What does a blind, deaf, quadriplegic baby can get for Christmas ? Cancer.
Vote: has 20.04 % from 72 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, Christmas, disgusting, health
What bounces up and down at 100mph? A baby tied to the back of a truck.
Vote: has 19.11 % from 102 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, car, disgusting
What is special about a dead baby over all other forms of life? You can achieve deep throat from whichever way you enter.
Vote: has 18.09 % from 175 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, dead baby, disgusting, life, sex
What is the definition of revenge? A baby with a dog in its mouth.
Vote: has 16.63 % from 47 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby, disgusting, dog
A couple of Yogi Berra's team mates on the Yankees ball club swear that one night the stocky catcher was horrified to see a baby toppling off the roof of a cottage across the way from him. Yogi dashed over and made a miraculous catch - but then force of habit proved too much for him. He straightened up and threw the baby to second base.
Vote: has 16.16 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, sport
What's brown and gurgles? A baby in a casserole.
Vote: has 14.12 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor
What's blue and flies around the room at high speeds? A baby with a punctured lung.
Vote: has 13.86 % from 56 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor
LaShaunda had just given birth to a daughter and discussed possible names with her hospital roommate, LaQoowanga. LaShwanda mentioned a name she had heard in the doctor's office, "Vagina". When the hospital personnel asked her what name to put on the birth certificate, LaShaunda said "Vagina". "You can't name your baby that!" "Don't disrespect me! I be her mama. I can names her anything I want." When the hospital person tried to explained what the name meant, LaShaunda said, "No, No! that's a cootchie!"
Vote: has 13.19 % from 83 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, disgusting, hospital
What's purple, covered in pus and squeals? A peeled baby in a bag of salt.
Vote: has 12.23 % from 123 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor