The best baby jokes

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume!
Vote:
has 39.39 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, dead baby
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said, "Why, he shouldn't say things to insult passengers. He could be fired for that." "You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!" "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
Vote:
has 38.50 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, kids, ugly
When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored And decided to carve a sculpture with only his Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called.... Mount Rushmore.
Vote:
has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: age, baby, Chuck Norris
Q: Do you know why women over fifty don't have babies? A: They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
Vote:
has 37.68 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: age, baby, memory, women
Q: What's brown and taps on the window? A: A baby in a microwave!
Vote:
has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting
Q: How do Asians name their babies? A: They throw a can down the stairs.
Vote:
has 37.43 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: asian, baby, black humor, morbid
How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? Nail its other hand to the floor.
Vote:
has 36.16 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
Vote:
has 35.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, Chuck Norris
Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
Vote:
has 35.78 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, disgusting
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
Vote:
has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: baby, phone, women
<<<14151617
More jokes →
Page 14 of 17.