The best baby jokes

Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A: Ask your mom.
Vote: has 37.66 % from 113 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, sex, ugly
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said, "Why, he shouldn't say things to insult passengers. He could be fired for that." "You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!" "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
Vote: has 37.14 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, baby, kids, ugly
How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? Nail its other hand to the floor.
Vote: has 34.94 % from 70 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, black humor
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
Vote: has 34.72 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, phone, women
Why would the cannibal only eat babies? He was on a diet!
Vote: has 34.69 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, black humor, food
When Chuck Norris had a baby he was horny for the nurse and had a 70-inch long.
Vote: has 34.69 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, Chuck Norris, dirty, nurse
Which is the only day you you are safe in a cannibal village? Sitter days (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)!
Vote: has 34.13 % from 24 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, black humor
A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. "Well, Skip," said the scout, "Dad had only one bottle of beer left, so I let my baby brother have it."
Vote: has 33.50 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, beer, dad, kids
Q: What's worse then finding 10 zombie babies in a garbage can? A: Finding one zombie baby in 10 garbage cans.
Vote: has 31.97 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, disgusting
Q: Why was the black baby crying? A: He had diarea and thought he was melting.
Vote: has 31.66 % from 63 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, health, racist


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