I got home to see my two months pregnant wife crouched in the bathroom crying.
Her red, smudged eyes looked at me as she told me she'd lost the baby.
I told the silly thing not to be so upset, I could clearly see it in the toilet.
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Q: What's brown and taps on the window?
A: A baby in a microwave!
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Q: Do you know why women over fifty don't have babies?
A: They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears.
He had real bears.
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When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored
And decided to carve a sculpture with only his
Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called....
Mount Rushmore.
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A woman got on a bus holding a baby.
The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!"
Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus.
The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong.
"The bus driver insulted me," she fumed.
The man sympathized and said, "Why, he shouldn't say things to insult passengers.
He could be fired for that."
"You're right," she said.
"I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!"
"That's a good idea," the man said.
"Here, let me hold your monkey."
Why did the zombie baby cross the road?
He was stapled to the chicken.
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A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day.
"Well, Skip," said the scout, "Dad had only one bottle of beer left, so I let my baby brother have it."
Q: How do Asians name their babies?
A: They throw a can down the stairs.
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How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ?
Nail its other hand to the floor.
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