What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume!
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
Q: How do Asians name their babies? A: They throw a can down the stairs.
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said, "Why, he shouldn't say things to insult passengers. He could be fired for that." "You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!" "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. "Well, Skip," said the scout, "Dad had only one bottle of beer left, so I let my baby brother have it."
When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored And decided to carve a sculpture with only his Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called.... Mount Rushmore.
Q: What's brown and taps on the window? A: A baby in a microwave!
Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? Nail its other hand to the floor.
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.