Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" "Why" asks the Blond "Because your breast is hanging out." She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"
What is height of Laziness? Adopting a child.
What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?"
Your momma's pussy is so hairy, when your brother was born he died of rugburn.
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A: Ask your mom.
What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume!
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said, "Why, he shouldn't say things to insult passengers. He could be fired for that." "You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!" "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. "Well, Skip," said the scout, "Dad had only one bottle of beer left, so I let my baby brother have it."