The best baby jokes

Q: How do Asians name their babies? A: They throw a can down the stairs.
Vote:
has 39.80 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: asian, baby, black humor, morbid
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
Vote:
has 39.30 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, sex, women
What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume!
Vote:
has 39.13 % from 102 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, dead baby
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said, "Why, he shouldn't say things to insult passengers. He could be fired for that." "You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!" "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
Vote:
has 38.50 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, kids, ugly
A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. "Well, Skip," said the scout, "Dad had only one bottle of beer left, so I let my baby brother have it."
Vote:
has 38.22 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: baby, beer, dad, kids
When Chuck Norris was 3 years old , he was bored And decided to carve a sculpture with only his Baby toe nail , this sculpture is now called.... Mount Rushmore.
Vote:
has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: age, baby, Chuck Norris
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
Vote:
has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, Chuck Norris
Q: What's brown and taps on the window? A: A baby in a microwave!
Vote:
has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting
Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
Vote:
has 37.61 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, disgusting
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
Vote:
has 35.28 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: baby, phone, women
<<<14151617
More jokes →
Page 14 of 17.