The best baby jokes

What is height of Laziness? Adopting a child.
has 41.84 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
has 41.30 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, sex, women
What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?"
has 40.95 % from 7 votes. More jokes about: baby, blonde, doctor
What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume!
has 40.04 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, dead baby
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A: Ask your mom.
has 39.24 % from 118 votes. More jokes about: baby, sex, ugly
A scoutmaster asked one of his troop what good deed he had done for the day. "Well, Skip," said the scout, "Dad had only one bottle of beer left, so I let my baby brother have it."
has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: baby, beer, dad, kids
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said, "Why, he shouldn't say things to insult passengers. He could be fired for that." "You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!" "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
has 37.14 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, kids, ugly
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
has 34.72 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: baby, phone, women
Why would the cannibal only eat babies? He was on a diet!
has 34.69 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, food
Which is the only day you you are safe in a cannibal village? Sitter days (when they eat the baby-sitter instead)!
has 34.13 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor
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