The best baby jokes

Let's not mess with nature. We are here to make babies. So, let's get to it.
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, dirty, flirt, sex
Who held the baby octopus to ransom? Squidnappers.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, baby
A lady tells the nurse at a maternity hospital, "I want to call my little baby Ellie." Nurse replies, "I'm sorry, but that name is already taken, perhaps you can consider naming her Ellie532 or Ellie_153?"
Vote: has 58.58 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, geek, hospital
Wife: "Every sunday you go for fishing, right?" Husband: "Yeah... Why?" Wife: "Today the fish came here and told she's pregnant."
Vote: has 58.01 % from 52 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, fish, marriage, wife
What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan? Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.
Vote: has 56.98 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, disgusting
When Chuck Norris was a baby he didnt have teddy bears. He had real bears.
Vote: has 56.86 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, baby, Chuck Norris
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
Vote: has 56.84 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, birthday, Chuck Norris, doctor
There is three kids sitting at the lunch table one day. One kid ask what do you call a mixed baby? One replies a zebra,another replies a mistake and the third one replies. Rape
Vote: has 56.02 % from 52 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, baby, kids, racist
A woman gives birth to a baby, and afterwards, the doctor comes in and he says, "I have to tell you something about your baby." The woman sits up in bed and says, "What's wrong with my baby doctor? What's wrong?" The doctor says, "Well, now, nothing's wrong, exactly, but your baby is a little bit different. Your baby is a hermaphrodite." The woman is confused. "A hermaphrodite..... what's that?" The doctor replies, "Well, it means your baby has the.......er......features....of a male and a female." The woman turns pale. She says, "Oh MY GOD! you mean it has a penis..... AND a brain.
Vote: has 55.84 % from 715 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, sex, women
Willy: "Mom, are our neighbors very poor people? Mother: "I don't think so, Willy. Why do you ask?" Willy: "Because they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin."
Vote: has 55.34 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, kids, money