The best baby jokes

A baby polar bear goes up to his dad and asks, "Dad, am I pure polar bear?" The dad replies, "Sure you are son. Im all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, your mom is all polar bear, and her parents are all polar bear." Still unsure the baby polar bear goes to his mom and asks, "Mom, am I pure polar bear?" She answers, "Of course you are honey. Im all polar bear, your father is all polar bear, my parents are all polar bear, and his parents are all polar bear." Still not convinced the baby polar bear goes to his grandparents and asks, "Grandmom...Grandpop...am I all polar bear?" His grandmother answers, "Of course you are sweetie. Were all polar bear, your mother is all polar bear, your father is all polar bear, and his parents are all polar bear. Why do you ask sweetie?" The baby polar bears replies, "Because I m feeling **** cold and freezing!"
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has 45.29 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby
Q: How do you know if a girl is pregnant? A: Shove a tampon and see if all of the cotton is picked.
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has 45.10 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, women
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A: Ask your mom.
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has 44.90 % from 141 votes. More jokes about: baby, sex, ugly
Woman delivers baby. Doctor takes the baby, and throws it, smashing around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. Mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging "WHY!?" Doctor holds baby upside down by the ankle and says "I'm just fucking with you, it was born dead".
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has 44.82 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, death, doctor, hospital
When Chuck Norris was a baby, he sucked on a pacifier and made it cry.
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has 44.67 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: baby, Chuck Norris
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
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has 44.56 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, family, food, kids
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?" Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!" The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests. "Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a condom, equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.
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has 44.48 % from 60 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, math, teacher
Goku and Superman once had a baby his name is Chuck Norris.
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has 43.73 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: baby, celebrity, Chuck Norris
How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos - make a dipping and snacking motion.
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has 43.61 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, phone
Q: What did the baby owl's parents say when he wanted to go to a party? A: "You're not owld enough."
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has 43.52 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: age, baby, bird, communication, party
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