The best baby jokes

Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?" Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!" The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests. "Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a condom, equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.
Vote: has 48.79 % from 28 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, math, teacher
When Chuck Norris had a baby he was horny for the nurse and had a 70-inch long.
Vote: has 46.70 % from 20 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, Chuck Norris, dirty, nurse
Q: What's brown and taps on the window? A: A baby in a microwave!
Vote: has 45.58 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, disgusting
Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period". His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells". Johnny asks what color is it. She says it's red. Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."
Vote: has 45.43 % from 51 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, school, women
The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate.
Vote: has 44.74 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, life
Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Doritos.
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, disgusting
What's red and sits in a corner? A baby playing with a razor blade.
Vote: has 44.13 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, disgusting
How do you make a baby drink? Stick it in the blender.
Vote: has 43.73 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, black humor
I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
Vote: has 43.73 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, Christmas, flirt, sex
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
Vote: has 43.40 % from 35 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, baby, family, food, kids


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