The best baby jokes

What's funnier than a dead baby? A dead baby in a clown costume!
Vote: has 39.64 % from 60 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor, dead baby
A woman got on a bus holding a baby. The bus driver looked at the child and blurted out, "That's the ugliest baby I've ever seen!" Infuriated, the woman slammed her fare into the fare box and took an aisle seat near the rear of the bus. The man seated next to her sensed that she was agitated and asked her what was wrong. "The bus driver insulted me," she fumed. The man sympathized and said, "Why, he shouldn't say things to insult passengers. He could be fired for that." "You're right," she said. "I think I'll go back up there and give him a piece of my mind!" "That's a good idea," the man said. "Here, let me hold your monkey."
Vote: has 39.42 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby, kids, ugly
Your momma's pussy is so hairy, when your brother was born he died of rugburn.
Vote: has 38.34 % from 55 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, dead baby, death, Yo mama
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A: Ask your mom.
Vote: has 38.24 % from 109 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, sex, ugly
Q: What's worse then finding 10 zombie babies in a garbage can? A: Finding one zombie baby in 10 garbage cans.
Vote: has 36.51 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, disgusting
What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
Vote: has 35.32 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor, sex, women
What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?"
Vote: has 34.78 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, blonde, doctor
How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? Nail its other hand to the floor.
Vote: has 34.35 % from 66 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor
Q: Why was the black baby crying? A: He had diarea and thought he was melting.
Vote: has 33.60 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, health, racist
Smith was hit by a car, died, and went to heaven. And everyone who goes to heaven has to work. God went up to Smith, and said: Smith, you are going to make babies. Here is this wheel, and every time you turn it, a baby will come out. For hours, Smith spun the wheel at full speed, then he started to get tired. As he was slowing down, a black baby came out...and Smith said: **** I better hurry because they are burning."
Vote: has 33.09 % from 50 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor, car, death, heaven