Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?"
Q: Why was the black baby crying? A: He had diarea and thought he was melting.
How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? Nail its other hand to the floor.
Smith was hit by a car, died, and went to heaven. And everyone who goes to heaven has to work. God went up to Smith, and said: Smith, you are going to make babies. Here is this wheel, and every time you turn it, a baby will come out. For hours, Smith spun the wheel at full speed, then he started to get tired. As he was slowing down, a black baby came out...and Smith said: **** I better hurry because they are burning."
What's red and lies in all four corners of the room? A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
Three women were sitting in a bar, (burnette, redhead, and a blonde) they were all pregnant. The burnette says, "I know what I'm going to have." The other to asked how. She replied, "Well I was on top when I concieved so I will have a baby boy". The red head said, "If your logic is correct then I will have a baby girl because I was on the bottom when I concieved. The blonde starts crying and orders another shot and starts screaming, "PUPPIES, PUPPIES!".
How did the live baby escape from a room filled with with zombie babies? He ate his way out.
Girlfriend pregnant error... Abort, Marry, Ignore?
What's blue and thrashes about on the floor? A baby playing in a plastic bag.