What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?"
The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate.
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" "Why" asks the Blond "Because your breast is hanging out." She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"
Q: What did the baby owl's parents say when he wanted to go to a party? A: "You're not owld enough."
There is three kids sitting at the lunch table one day. One kid ask what do you call a mixed baby? One replies a zebra,another replies a mistake and the third one replies. Rape
Let's not mess with nature. We are here to make babies. So, let's get to it.
I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
When Chuck Norris was a baby, he sucked on a pacifier and made it cry.
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
Mary held her little daughter, twenty minutes under water. Not to care for any troubles, just to look at those funny bubbles.