The best baby jokes

Q: How do you know if a girl is pregnant? A: Shove a tampon and see if all of the cotton is picked.
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, women
Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period". His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells". Johnny asks what color is it. She says it's red. Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."
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has 47.66 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, school, women
How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos - make a dipping and snacking motion.
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has 47.48 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, phone
What's green and sits in the corner? That same baby three weeks later.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting
A Chinese couple had a black baby. They named him Sum Sing Wong.
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has 47.36 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: asian, baby, communication, couple
There is three kids sitting at the lunch table one day. One kid ask what do you call a mixed baby? One replies a zebra,another replies a mistake and the third one replies. Rape
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has 46.90 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, kids, racist
"Jeff, my child, your mother had to stay in the hospital for a few days, cause the stork that brought your baby brother bite her by accident." "Oh, gosh! What a terrible thing to happen to her after such a difficult birth!"
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: baby, hospital, kids
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?" Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!" The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests. "Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a condom, equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.
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has 46.37 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, math, teacher
Q: What's brown and taps on the window? A: A baby in a microwave!
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting
How do you make a baby drink? Stick it in the blender.
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor
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