The best baby jokes

What do you get when you have sex with a pregnant woman? A baby with a black eye!
Vote: has 36.46 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor, sex, women
What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant? "Is it mine?"
Vote: has 34.78 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, blonde, doctor
Q: Why was the black baby crying? A: He had diarea and thought he was melting.
Vote: has 33.60 % from 57 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, health, racist
How do you stop a baby crawling round in circles ? Nail its other hand to the floor.
Vote: has 32.20 % from 62 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor
Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
Vote: has 31.56 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby, disgusting
Girlfriend pregnant error... Abort, Marry, Ignore?
Vote: has 31.03 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, IT, marriage
How do you unload a truck of zombie babies? With a pitchfork.
Vote: has 31.03 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, disgusting
What's red and lies in all four corners of the room? A baby that's been playing with a chainsaw.
Vote: has 30.82 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, disgusting
Smith was hit by a car, died, and went to heaven. And everyone who goes to heaven has to work. God went up to Smith, and said: Smith, you are going to make babies. Here is this wheel, and every time you turn it, a baby will come out. For hours, Smith spun the wheel at full speed, then he started to get tired. As he was slowing down, a black baby came out...and Smith said: **** I better hurry because they are burning."
Vote: has 30.74 % from 48 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, black humor, car, death, heaven
How did the live baby escape from a room filled with with zombie babies? He ate his way out.
Vote: has 26.16 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, disgusting