The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate.
A blonde is walking down the street with her blouse open and her right breast hanging out. A policeman approaches her and says, "Ma'am, are you aware that I could cite you for indecent exposure?" "Why" asks the Blond "Because your breast is hanging out." She looks down and says, "OH MY GOD, I left the baby on the bus again!"
Let's not mess with nature. We are here to make babies. So, let's get to it.
I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
When Chuck Norris was a baby, he sucked on a pacifier and made it cry.
Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'" Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken." Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?" Mother: "Because we need the eggs."
There is three kids sitting at the lunch table one day. One kid ask what do you call a mixed baby? One replies a zebra,another replies a mistake and the third one replies. Rape
Q: Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? A: Ask your mom.
Mary held her little daughter, twenty minutes under water. Not to care for any troubles, just to look at those funny bubbles.
How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos - make a dipping and snacking motion.