The best baby jokes

Why is it dangerous to tell the husband to go and change the son? Two hours later he comes back with a baby girl.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: baby, husband, men
Q: How do you know if a girl is pregnant? A: Shove a tampon and see if all of the cotton is picked.
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has 46.20 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, women
Q: What's brown and taps on the window? A: A baby in a microwave!
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting
Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, disgusting
Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period". His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells". Johnny asks what color is it. She says it's red. Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."
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has 45.35 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, school, women
I got home to see my two months pregnant wife crouched in the bathroom crying. Her red, smudged eyes looked at me as she told me she'd lost the baby. I told the silly thing not to be so upset, I could clearly see it in the toilet.
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting, wife
The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate.
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has 44.74 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: baby, life
Your momma's pussy is so hairy, when your brother was born he died of rugburn.
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has 44.62 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: baby, dead baby, death, Yo mama
Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Doritos.
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has 44.46 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting
What's red and sits in a corner? A baby playing with a razor blade.
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting
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