The best baby jokes

A Chinese couple had a black baby. They named him Sum Sing Wong.
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has 46.72 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: asian, baby, communication, couple
"Jeff, my child, your mother had to stay in the hospital for a few days, cause the stork that brought your baby brother bite her by accident." "Oh, gosh! What a terrible thing to happen to her after such a difficult birth!"
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: baby, hospital, kids
Why is it dangerous to tell the husband to go and change the son? Two hours later he comes back with a baby girl.
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: baby, husband, men
Little Johnny's teacher asks him, "If I have 5 cookies, and I give you 2, how many cookies do I have left?" Little Johnny replies, "Zero, you're giving me more than just 3 cookies. I'm taking all 5 baby!" The teacher just facepalms herself. "I can strongly suggest that you work on your math skills Johnny." the teacher suggests. "Oh I know math, one man plus one girl, subtract a condom, equals a baby!" Little Johnny says.
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has 46.37 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, math, teacher
Q: What's brown and taps on the window? A: A baby in a microwave!
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting
How do you make a baby drink? Stick it in the blender.
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor
I got home to see my two months pregnant wife crouched in the bathroom crying. Her red, smudged eyes looked at me as she told me she'd lost the baby. I told the silly thing not to be so upset, I could clearly see it in the toilet.
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has 45.29 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: baby, disgusting, wife
A mother and baby camel are talking one day when the baby camel asks, "Mom why have I got these huge three-toed feet?" The mother replies, "Well son, when we trek across the desert your toes will help you to stay on top of the soft sand." "Okay," said the son. A few minutes later the son asks, "Mom, why have I got these great long eyelashes?" "They are there to keep the sand out of your eyes on the trips through the desert," "Thanks Mom," replies the son. After a short while, the son returns and asks, "Mom, why have I got these great big humps on my back?" The mother, now a little impatient with the boy replies, "They are there to help us store fat for our long treks across the desert, so we can go without water for long periods." "That's great mom, so we have huge feet to stop us sinking, and long eyelashes to keep the sand from our eyes and these humps to store water, but Mom ..." "Yes son?" "What good does all that do us here in the San Diego Zoo?"
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby
Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
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has 44.92 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, disgusting
Q: What's red, white, and cries a lot? A: A baby with a razor!
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has 44.84 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, morbid
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