The best baby jokes

Why is it dangerous to tell the husband to go and change the son? Two hours later he comes back with a baby girl.
Vote: has 46.54 % from 13 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, husband, men
Q: What's brown and taps on the window? A: A baby in a microwave!
Vote: has 45.58 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, disgusting
Why did the zombie baby cross the road? He was stapled to the chicken.
Vote: has 45.58 % from 15 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, baby, disgusting
Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period". His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells". Johnny asks what color is it. She says it's red. Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."
Vote: has 45.39 % from 53 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, dirty, little Johnny, school, women
The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate.
Vote: has 44.74 % from 36 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, life
Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl? A: A blender. Q: How do you get them out? A: Doritos.
Vote: has 44.46 % from 19 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, disgusting
What's red and sits in a corner? A baby playing with a razor blade.
Vote: has 44.13 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, disgusting
How do you make a baby drink? Stick it in the blender.
Vote: has 43.73 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, black humor
I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
Vote: has 43.73 % from 25 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, Christmas, flirt, sex
Q: What's red, white, and cries a lot? A: A baby with a razor!
Vote: has 43.46 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, black humor, morbid


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