Why is it dangerous to tell the husband to go and change the son?
Two hours later he comes back with a baby girl.
Q: What's brown and taps on the window?
A: A baby in a microwave!
Why did the zombie baby cross the road?
He was stapled to the chicken.
Johnny comes home from school and asks his mom what is a "period".
His mom says that "A period is when a woman needs to realease her dead egg cells".
Johnny asks what color is it.
She says it's red.
Johnny said "I have one of those but mine is white and it makes babies."
The best thing about trying to name a baby is realizing how many people you hate.
Q: How do you get a zombie baby into a bowl?
A: A blender.
Q: How do you get them out?
A: Doritos.
What's red and sits in a corner?
A baby playing with a razor blade.
How do you make a baby drink?
Stick it in the blender.
I just checked my schedule and I can have you pregnant by Christmas.
Q: What's red, white, and cries a lot?
A: A baby with a razor!