The best baby jokes

At school one day, the teacher was trying to approach the topic of sex education and asked her students if they'd ever seen anything that was related to sex education on TV. Mary raised her hand and said she had seen a movie about women having babies. "Great," said the teacher, "that's very important." Then Judy raised her hand and told the teacher she had seen a TV show about people getting married. "Well, that has to do with it too," said the teacher. Then Johnny raised his hand and said he had seen a western where some Indians came riding over the hill and John Wayne shot them all. The teacher said, "Well, Johnny, that really doesn't have anything to do with sex education." "Yes it does," said Johnny, " it taught those Indians not to f**k with John Wayne."
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has 63.32 % from 143 votes. More jokes about: baby, little Johnny, school, sex, teacher
Q: What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets? A: She went looking for the three guys.
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has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: baby, blonde, sex, stupid
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
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has 62.88 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: baby, fat, mean, single, time
Whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper? A seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor.
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has 62.50 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby
Q: How do Asians get their name? A: They throw a pan down the hall and listen to the noise. Example: Dong Ching Lau.
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has 62.44 % from 229 votes. More jokes about: asian, baby, racist
Q: What do pregnant teenagers and their unborn babies have in common? A: Both their moms are going to kill them!
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has 61.45 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, death, morbid, teen
Yo mama is so ugly that she could be the poster child for birth control.
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has 61.25 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: baby, birthday, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
A Black man bought a round of drinks for everyone in the bar, announcing that his wife had just given birth to "a typical black baby boy weighing 20 pounds." Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "Wow!" were heard. A woman fainted due to sympathy pains. Two weeks later, he returned to the bar. The bartender said, "Say, you're the proud father of an amazing black baby who weighed 20 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?" The proud father answered, "Fifteen pounds." The bartender was puzzled. "Why? What happened? He weighed 20 pounds at birth?" The father drank the bottle of whisky at one go, wiped his lips on his shirtsleeve, leaned into the bartender and said, "Had him circumcised."
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has 60.99 % from 505 votes. More jokes about: baby, bar, bartender, black people, wife
Me: "Here comes the airplane!" Baby: Opens mouth. Me: "OH NO! It's the Taliban!" Hits baby in the forehead with the spoon. "KA-BOOM"
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has 59.50 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: airplane, baby, black humor
Yo mama so ugly that when she delivered a little baby after birth the baby saw mum and screamed "It's a gorilla!".
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has 57.64 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, insulting, ugly, Yo mama