The best baby jokes

Q: What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets? A: She went looking for the three guys.
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has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: baby, blonde, sex, stupid
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
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has 62.88 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: baby, fat, mean, single, time
A conversation among my Children's Church a while back. A little girl announced proudly to our class one day, "My mommy has a baby in her belly!" The little boy next to her was mortified! "Why did your mommy eat a baby!"
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has 62.30 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: baby, church, family, kids
Q: What's the idea of a blonde of natural childbirth? A: No make-up.
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has 62.14 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: baby, beauty, birthday, blonde
Q: What do pregnant teenagers and their unborn babies have in common? A: Both their moms are going to kill them!
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has 61.92 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, death, morbid, teen
Q: How do Asians get their name? A: They throw a pan down the hall and listen to the noise. Example: Dong Ching Lau.
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has 61.48 % from 237 votes. More jokes about: asian, baby, racist
A Black man bought a round of drinks for everyone in the bar, announcing that his wife had just given birth to "a typical black baby boy weighing 20 pounds." Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "Wow!" were heard. A woman fainted due to sympathy pains. Two weeks later, he returned to the bar. The bartender said, "Say, you're the proud father of an amazing black baby who weighed 20 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?" The proud father answered, "Fifteen pounds." The bartender was puzzled. "Why? What happened? He weighed 20 pounds at birth?" The father drank the bottle of whisky at one go, wiped his lips on his shirtsleeve, leaned into the bartender and said, "Had him circumcised."
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has 61.24 % from 511 votes. More jokes about: baby, bar, bartender, black people, wife
Me: "Here comes the airplane!" Baby: Opens mouth. Me: "OH NO! It's the Taliban!" Hits baby in the forehead with the spoon. "KA-BOOM"
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has 59.50 % from 85 votes. More jokes about: airplane, baby, black humor
Who held the baby octopus to ransom? Squidnappers.
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby
There once was a baby elephant and a baby turtle drinking from a river deep in the jungle. For no reason, the turtle reaches over and bites the elephant's tail, really hard. Years and years later, the same elephant, now grown up, is by the same river, having a drink with his giraffe buddy, when the same turtle that bit him on the tail all those years ago wanders up to the river. The elephant rears back a leg and kicks the turtle as hard as he can, sending him flying way off into the jungle. "Why did you do that?" the giraffe asks. "When we both were babies, that turtle bit my tail for no reason," the elephant replied. "Wow! You must have a good memory!" exclaimed the giraffe. "Yep!" said the elephant. "I've got Turtle-Recall."
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has 58.51 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, elephant, time