The best baby jokes

What did the baby dolphin do when he didn't get his way? He whale-d.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby
A Black man bought a round of drinks for everyone in the bar, announcing that his wife had just given birth to "a typical black baby boy weighing 20 pounds." Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "Wow!" were heard. A woman fainted due to sympathy pains. Two weeks later, he returned to the bar. The bartender said, "Say, you're the proud father of an amazing black baby who weighed 20 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?" The proud father answered, "Fifteen pounds." The bartender was puzzled. "Why? What happened? He weighed 20 pounds at birth?" The father drank the bottle of whisky at one go, wiped his lips on his shirtsleeve, leaned into the bartender and said, "Had him circumcised."
Vote: has 62.46 % from 475 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, bar, bartender, black people, wife
Yo' mama so fat, when she was a baby, she took a bath with a rubber albatross.
Vote: has 62.41 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, fat, insulting, Yo mama
Little known medical fact: Chuck Norris invented the Caesarean section when he roundhouse-kicked his way out of his monther's womb.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, birthday, Chuck Norris, doctor
Q: Do you know why women over fifty don't have babies? A: They would put them down somewhere and forget where they left them.
Vote: has 61.28 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, baby, memory, women
There is three kids sitting at the lunch table one day. One kid ask what do you call a mixed baby? One replies a zebra,another replies a mistake and the third one replies. Rape
Vote: has 60.66 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby, kids, racist
Q: What does a baby computer call its dad? A: Data
Vote: has 60.56 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, computer, dad, IT
How should you treat a baby goat? Like a kid.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, baby, kids
Goku and Superman once had a baby his name is Chuck Norris.
Vote: has 59.19 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, celebrity, Chuck Norris
What is funnier than a zombie baby hanging from a ceiling fan? Hitting it with a shovel when it comes around.
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, disgusting