The best baby jokes

Yo mama is so ugly that she could be the poster child for birth control.
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has 64.28 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: baby, birthday, insulting, ugly, Yo mama
Q: What does a baby computer call its dad? A: Data
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: baby, computer, dad, IT
One afternoon I was walking on a trail with my baby daughter, chatting to her about the scenery. When a man and his dog approached, I leaned down to the carriage and said, “See the doggy?” Suddenly I felt foolish talking to my baby as if she understood me. However, just as the man passed, he reached down, patted his dog, and said, “See the baby?”
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has 63.75 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby, dog
Q: What did the blonde do when she found out she was pregnant with triplets? A: She went looking for the three guys.
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has 63.07 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: baby, blonde, sex, stupid
Q: How do Asians get their name? A: They throw a pan down the hall and listen to the noise. Example: Dong Ching Lau.
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has 62.85 % from 223 votes. More jokes about: asian, baby, racist
Single and ready to get nervous around anyone I find attractive.
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has 61.89 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: baby, fat, mean, single, time
Whats the difference in a seagull and a babys diaper? A seagull flits across the shore and a baby shits across the floor.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: animal, baby
A Black man bought a round of drinks for everyone in the bar, announcing that his wife had just given birth to "a typical black baby boy weighing 20 pounds." Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "Wow!" were heard. A woman fainted due to sympathy pains. Two weeks later, he returned to the bar. The bartender said, "Say, you're the proud father of an amazing black baby who weighed 20 pounds at birth. How much does he weigh now?" The proud father answered, "Fifteen pounds." The bartender was puzzled. "Why? What happened? He weighed 20 pounds at birth?" The father drank the bottle of whisky at one go, wiped his lips on his shirtsleeve, leaned into the bartender and said, "Had him circumcised."
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has 60.97 % from 502 votes. More jokes about: baby, bar, bartender, black people, wife
Me: "Here comes the airplane!" Baby: Opens mouth. Me: "OH NO! It's the Taliban!" Hits baby in the forehead with the spoon. "KA-BOOM"
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has 59.85 % from 83 votes. More jokes about: airplane, baby, black humor
A lady tells the nurse at a maternity hospital, "I want to call my little baby Ellie." Nurse replies, "I'm sorry, but that name is already taken, perhaps you can consider naming her Ellie532 or Ellie_153?"
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has 58.67 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: baby, geek, hospital